June 21st will always hold a special place in my heart because of the deep-rooted love which took hold of me on that day. Early in the morning, I touched down at Shannon Airport in western Ireland. I was never to be the same again. I had jumped at the opportunity to study abroad after visiting my sister in Florence the previous spring; the culture, the newness of being in a different country, the challenges that went along with it...I knew it was something I'd have to explore for myself.
When the time came, I remember feeling as though I was setting out for a great adventure, a great unknown. The flight across the Atlantic did little to soothe my nerves; had the windows come with the capability of rolling down, I would've had my head poking out like a dog.
Advisory quad at NUI Galway....or Hogwarts.
For whatever reason, I grinned like an idiot going through customs. I think it was in part to earning a student visa, and part just being thrilled to get another stamp added to the passport, life's international social currency. Every bit of that day was a minor victory for independent me: train schedules, currency exchange, hailing a cab, checking in to my apartment...it was all breathtaking. I recall distinctly my first real interaction with an Irishman, an older gentleman who took me by cab from the bus station to my apartment in Gort na Coiribe. He was as curious about a new American as I was about the Irish! We got on famously (a recurring trend when in such lovely company) while he took me around Galway city (for no extra charge), pointing out cultural sites and nightlife points. What a sense of relief it was, knowing I was in good hands in this city, in this country.
This reinforced the notion that love requires trust and respect. I trusted Galway to make the experience of studying abroad a turning point in my life, and I respected what she had to offer, and what her people had to offer. It is a widely-known fact that the Irish are among the friendliest people in the world. From the get-go, this concept was validated. It's hard not to fall in love when you are accepted for what you are without any reservations.
My apartment's living room...
I checked in and dragged my luggage into my new accommodations, wondering what my roommates would be like, getting butterflies all the while. Due to excitement, I didn't sleep much on the flight over, and so I napped before going out and exploring the city. As it turns out, the city's heart, my apartment, and NUI Galway made sort of a perfect triangle, with neither leg of the walk taking more than 12 minutes, unless caught in rain.
The things I grew to love about travel include the concepts of walking everywhere, unabashed cultural voyeurism, and immersion. Like all great loves, you come to learn a lot. Galway taught me a lot, and lit a fire inside of me for travel and seeing what the world has to teach me. It's an enduring love, and like all great loves, it only gets stronger every day.
At the Cliffs of Moher, all smiles. What's not to love about a partner who gives you space to explore and lust after independence?
When we think we know something for the longest time, and it proves to be false, the re-alignment of what is perceived or what is understood takes time to re-shape itself. There's very much a "back to the drawing board" mentality that is frankly maddening; the excavation in an attempt to identify where things went awry, where corrections need to be made based upon new information.
Sometimes, by using an eraser, we come to a wholly different conclusion. That's a lot of power in an object that can't state anything new. Rather, the eraser disregards what was previously known...
He walked down the hall, looking straight ahead. Plain as day
The strangest thing was happening. As the hall grew shorter, the walls became wider. No, that can't be. Walls don't just expand. Must've just been his tunnel vision.
The vast expanses of time and space were reflected in his empty eyes, a window left open
He walked down the street, looking nearly straight ahead, his eyes never leaving the horizon. People People with dogs People with phones People with slowly stiffening necks People with groceries People with purpose People with handbags and loud shoes and a place they need to be
Simply passed by as he looked toward the horizon.
The horizon isn't ever straight ahead. It's perpetually at a slightly downward glance; to say that he looked straight ahead isn't entirely accurate.
When he looked this way, it was never with a song in his head or a nagging thought on his mind. It was the absence of such things that made the gaze impenetrable. A truly clean slate, a vacuous mind.
The steps measured somewhere in the tens of thousands, the blocks in the dozens. When he closed the window and let the world in, he found himself at an unfamiliar location, right where he intended to be. He set his jacket down on the same chair he did every day.
Drying his hands of the cold water that slammed closed the window, he felt
Before the official 20th anniversary of the release of my favorite album slips on by, a brief explanation as to why it is that I love the album and the band itself...
Aside from hearing "One" or "Mysterious Ways" on the radio, my first real listen to U2's 1991 album, Achtung, Baby, came in high school. At the time, I was just beginning to come to appreciate the band who would dominate the next decade of my musical enjoyment (making up for lost time always works better than having to wait for things in the moment. For example, watching LOST week-to-week never worked because I couldn't handle not having the access to it needed to sustain a healthy relationship. With- at the time- two decades of music already in the band's catalog, I could take my sweet time and dive in to the material which had already been released YEARS prior while waiting for new material). I recall distinctly sitting on the floor in my buddy Joe's bedroom, taking in the opening screeches and bass-laden rhythm that opened the album's fourth track, "Until the End of the World".
The feeling was not unlike hearing a curse word or a sexual innuendo for the first time on the radio: you look over your shoulder, wondering if anyone's going to catch you in the act of hearing something you're not sure was intended for your ears. But you want more. I must have stared into the speakers, bowled over by the profound sounds coming at me in a sonic wave of color. Yes, color. The guitar range comes in such an illustrious fullness that I could scarcely believe that the Edge wasn't breaking new ground by painting with music.
Needless to say, that moment was the first burst of a love affair (one-sided, admittedly) between myself and U2's music. At the time, All That You Can't Leave Behind had JUST come out, "Beautiful Day" was on the periphery of my radar, and 9-11 was a year-plus away. It was Achtung, Baby, however, that froze me in my shoes. Through college, incorporating the music of U2- the last timeless band, chronologically speaking- into papers became a fun challenge. A quote here, a reference there...I began to have a lot of fun with it. Ultimately, a professor challenged me to actually use the band as a scholarly source; my thesis paper included a deconstruction of Achtung compared with James Joyce's Ulysses. Think of that as a test of love.
And so, 20 years later, the notion that U2 has held up is brought into question. The Beatles are timeless for being pioneers. The Stones are timeless for creating the single-best riff in music history, and for enduring. Led Zeppelin are timeless for having a consistently great catalog, while still leaving something in the tank due to bowing out after John Bonham's death. U2, however, have remained sneakily consistent. While commercial success in recent years has been dominated by touring, the band is responsible for three timeless albums over three different decades. Only the Stones can match that timeline. Whatever. That's not my point. Here's my point: Achtung, Baby, is an important album in the context of the band itself (reinvention, which I'll get to momentarily), as well as the broader sense of the music industry (two pivotal albums). So indulge me as I go through the album, track by track, and see if you can't talk yourself into liking you some U2 heading into the new year...
The album itself, released in November of 1991, famously had its roots in U2's post-Joshua Tree, late-80s hangover. The band had been touring following what many considered to be a disappointing film/album (Rattle and Hum), and had themselves claimed that- heading into 1990 with a new year's eve performance in Dublin- they needed to go away and "dream it all up again". While The Joshua Tree had gone diamond (10x platinum), the band grew restless. After taking some time apart, the band famously hunkered down in Berlin (apparently flying in on the last flight into East Germany's Berlin) to work on getting the album together.
Berlin's importance in 20th century history cannot be overstated (truly the belly of the beast in the 1940s, divided by the Iron Curtain in the 50s, hotspot for downfall of communism in the late 80s), and so the band, like Germans and other world citizens of that time period, sought to reinvent itself. The departure from the simple four-piece ensemble that had come to define their music at the time was certainly noticeable with the release of the album. Added to it was an industrial, rock-solid sound. Like Berlin, the exposure to new things brought about a sense of newness, rebirth, whathaveyou. The lyrical content, too, would be an example of the change in direction for the band (coming). The result is an album that gave U2 a red v. blue (Beatles) sort of debate. For those unfamiliar with the album, here's a breakdown:
1) Zoo Station
Right away, a guitar gliss is telling the listener that this isn't your older brother's U2. The music itself has a disoriented, industrial beat, with guitar work that seems to press on into some futuristic world. Berlin- for anyone who's been- has seen similar changes in scenery over the last 20+ years. Meanwhile, the distorted sound of Bono's voice- he of the heart-on-sleeve battle call- raises many eyebrows. Acting as a re-assuring salesman of the future (take stock; it's a guaranteed rise), he's not afraid to lead by example ("I'm ready/I'm ready for what's next"). Zoo Station itself is a stop on the Berlin subway system, making the closing lines ("Just two stops down the line", "Just a stop down the line") appropriate. Ultimately, the "kiss the future" campaign will be successful or not based on the rest of the album. However, for anyone climbing aboard, you're immediately aware that you're in for a ride.
2) Even Better Than The Real Thing
The sonic intro to EBTTRT is further proof that as a listener, you're getting involved with something different than what you're used to from U2. It's looser, a lot flashier, announcing itself with a silky authority (as per the vocals; "Give me one more chance/and you'll be satisfied", as well as the chorus itself). The notion that "it's about the music" had sort of given way to an acceptance that flash and flare could, in fact, enhance the product itself. The band had initially gotten kickback from fans for selling out to the rock star image. Looking deeper, however, the band's wink to that freshly-wrapped allure is supplemented by their stronger lyrics and broader use of sound. This song is a perfect example of such ("We're free to fly the crimson skies/the Sun won't melt our wings tonight"? Icarus? Deeper than expected (and a seemingly-inadvertent Joyce reference)). Besides, if you really wanted to reach for it, the song title itself could be a tongue-in-cheek reference to the notion that this glitz and shiny wrapping paper is- in our superficial time- better than significant music with a message (U2's earlier M.O.).
3) One
Perhaps U2's most enduring/recognizable/important song, One is a reaffirmation of what everyone who loved U2 prior to this album loved about U2. Simple, stripped down, and profound. This is, as is well-documented by the band themselves- the toughest song to get done on the album. Its undefined topic certainly helps it appeal to so many for so many reasons. I'll post the video if you haven't heard it, but One is pretty well-known, so I'd be surprised if you haven't. Ultimately, this song always struck me as one about responsibility (we've GOT to carry each other....no matter how well we do or do not get along. We're in this together). The questioning ("Is it getting better/ or do you feel the same?", "Did I ask too much?", followed by the heartbreaker, "You gave me nothing/now it's all I've got") is obviously touching on something deeper, something more...and yet that's not the important part. THAT'S the genius of the song: what got whomever to this point is not the important part. The important part is that everyone involved is in this together. Carry each other.
4) Until the End of the World
All of the information I wrote in the introduction to this post is real. This song...does something to me. I'm not sure how to describe it. Anyway, the idea of the song is that it's in reference to Judas, the betrayer from the Bible. And yet, a song about love isn't out of the question. Lyrically, it's some of Bono's best ("You miss too much these days if you stop to think" seems more and more appropriate every day. "I reached out for the one I tried to destroy" can carry many connotations, but surely the idea of rejecting God only to 'see the light' later on is one that could be true). Aurally, the rhythm is dope. Big-assed bass from Adam Clayton, funky jungle-beat from Larry Mullen, Jr, and a guitar solo I can't help but see in my mind as an avalanche of color from the Edge. Every time. (In fact, my favorite solo of all time) In the video, it starts at 2:00 exactly. The Judas thing is driven home by the lyric "I kissed your lips/and broke your heart", which harkens back to an earlier U2 song, Pride(In the Name of Love) ("One man betrayed with a kiss" is Jesus, whose message was not unlike that of Dr. King, about whom Pride was written. Fun fact!).
5) Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses
The distorted guitar in the into is really the only part of this song that would distinguish it from 1980s U2. The depth of the lyrics, showing hurt and a need to part with the past, makes it a moving song for anyone who's been disappointed by love. I always think of this song as fairly poignant. ("The doors you open/ I just can't close" themselves are easily accessible in the rolodex of life decisions for anyone; we're inherently a people who are prone to making decisions that are not good for us) My favorite thing about the song itself is the way the lyrics seem to be spoken in the beginning. As the bridge approaches, however, Bono gets a bit breathy, as if exasperated by what/whomever is vexing him. Of course, by the end, there's a fair bit of singing going on in what one might call the climax of the song. It may not be happy or pretty, but it's a well-delivered song.
6) So Cruel
A perfect B-side to the previous song. So Cruel has always been a dark song, in my mind. The opening wastes no time in getting to the point that this is not about happiness and flowers and puppies or whatever people in love get into. It seems to be the last straw in what has been dissatisfaction, and while heartbreaking, it sets the perfect scene for a second act of getting out there into a world of newness, distortion, and adventure. "We crossed the line/who pushed you over?/It doesn't matter to you/ It matters to me" is strangely haunting, lyrically. Throughout the rest of the song, it becomes apparent that this is a truly hurt individual writing a break-up letter, or something of that ilk. Rather than simply say "Fuck You" (no offense, Cee Lo), the words are powerful; they carry some serious heft ("Between the horses of love and lust/ we are trampled underfoot"), finally ending with "To stay with you/ I'd be a fool"...it's really a beautifully-written tell-off. And while you can't dance to it, there's something to be said for a song that is full of such a strong emotion- even if it's a bitter, jaded emotion- that it lingers on for nearly six minutes.
7)The Fly
Described as "a phone call from Hell...but the guy likes it there", The Fly acts as sort of a calling card for what happens after the breakup described in So Cruel: a night out, questioning, acceptance, figuring out what comes next. The return to industrial sounds is not quite coincidence, as the sentiment is that there's something new to be taken from the music. Lyrically, the messages are that of re-invention and re-alignment of perceptions. The song itself sounds a little seedy, but again, that's not necessarily a bad thing. That quote above comes to symbolize the messages in the song; they aren't all positive, but there's some truth and accessibility in them. Much like the notion of Heaven and Hell and the struggle for religious/spiritual belonging, there are questions of faith that need answering. What I feel is going on here is the acceptance that shit's going to happen that isn't all about love and fluffy stuff, but as there's a fine line between good and bad, there's a way to accept limitations and what to do once you have. The video I selected is part of what would flash across the gigantic screens of the Zoo TV tour (more of the superficial, image-based packaging that U2 did/did not get and did/did not want anyone to focus on at their shows). It's a lot to take in, but then again, the notion that Hell isn't all that bad- according to the narrator of the story- is certainly a diversion from what we're used to hearing.
8) Mysterious Ways
A sexy song, the song itself could be written about a woman, the moon, God...open to interpretation, as most good songs are. It strikes me as an invitation. The invitation is this: embrace the adventure, the newness, and the mystery. That is driven by the lyric "One day you will look back/ and you'll see where you were held how(down?)/ by this love/ while you can stand there/ you can move on this moment/ follow this feeling". Love itself may not be captive. It could very well mean what you know, what you're comfortable with. Ideally, however, stepping out of a comfort zone has its benefits. How well does THAT fit in with the flow of songs thus far, AND how well does it fit in with the narrative of U2 until that point? Thank you, thank you...
9) Tryin' to Throw Your Arms Around the World
A mellow tune, TTTYAATW has always held a spot in my heart as a sort of moment of lucidity and serenity amidst the chaos of what the rest of the album had come to represent. While a simpler combination of fundamental components of a musical band, the feel is still very much a step away from earlier efforts. In a way, the song acts as a 'day after', hangover-like response to the earlier movement and disarray of Mysterious Ways and The Fly. The other concept is that of the song as a dream. Lyrically, it's almost as if surrealism serves as the motif (Dali reference, included).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2dL-DjAkek
10) Ultraviolet (Light My Way)
Perhaps one of my favorite U2 songs, Ultraviolet is a spectacular representation of the "new" U2. There's a certain depth of the music that lends itself well to what is ultimately a new dimension of the band. Within the scope of the album itself, Ultraviolet is a moment of reckoning, so to speak: tempted and engrossed in the new, shiny precipice of the new and unknown, the narrator is essentially at a crossroads. It is unclear, if following this line of logic, whether the need to have a path lit is a call to the known or unknown. Quite true, considering the intimacy and internal conflict associated with the album. Broader ideas (and a large chunk of U2's religious kickback following their earlier material) gave way to a very self-centered composition of music. It is interesting to note, for those still here and those interested in the band, that the desire to be led astray of the conceivable ties to religious structures resulted in a secular, human-driven work. In any event, Ultraviolet's inclusion on U2's last tour certainly amped up the excitement for the song itself, and re-kindled a sense of appreciation for it. In what is a tumultuous world, "light my way" serves as a cry for help, for direction...and that's something many can connect to.
11) Acrobat
Occasionally, the Edge's guitar will evoke a more raw emotion. While chiming and unique in its sound, the chaos and distortion of what is going on throughout the album is effectively portrayed sonically through the guitar. There's some of the lament on religion lyrically ("I'd break bread and wine/if there was a church I could receive in"), further questioning of identity and motivation ("I must be an acrobat/to talk like this and act like that"), and a struggle to come to terms with whatever it is that is an overarching theme or idea within the album. Much like "Exit" from the Joshua Tree, the tone of frustration and anger comes through with a sort of woeful clarity. It's dark, but poignant; angry, but thoughtful.
12)Love is Blindness
A fitting closing track to the album, the organ intro (religious undertones? Perhaps) leads into what sounds almost like a really somber procession. Even the titular line comes off as though it is said with resolve and reluctance, rather than the blissful sense of FALLING in love. If that is the way falling in love feels, the tone of the song gives the sense that it is binding unconditionally, which may or may not be a positive thing throughout the course of one's life or relationships.
A larger point about the album in general (and accentuated by Love is Blindness) is that it contains a wide array of songs and sounds. There is a similar sort of sound to much of War and The Unforgettable Fire, for example. While it doesn't diminish the work of the group, having a broader scope of sound within the same album is a vital part of what makes Achtung, Baby so memorable, and so great, in my opinion. 20 years later, the strength of diversity within the sound of the album resonates. It contains a number of legitimately GOOD songs that have endured at least 20 years to this point, "One" in particular (which achieves a sort of timelessness that songs like "Imagine" and "Satisfaction" have been synonymous with).
A funny thing happened the other night: it was as though happiness crept up and swallowed me whole, peeking up over the horizon and engulfing whatever lay within its path. This is not a regular occurrence. Between the bleak job market, a creative rut that has long since overstayed its welcome, the sorting and sifting through memories of more than one strained relationship, it's safe to say that a fair bit of self-loathing has taken place. It requires a lot more effort than I've got some days to feel carefree. I'm hard on myself. I get that. I also get that I shouldn't be so serious. The quest for understanding is an eternal one. Destination unknown. Not sure if there is one.
Last year, right around the holidays, I received a deceptively-wrapped gift: a voice. Disrobing insecurity and trepidation has been the goal of 2011. The practicality and functionality of this blessing has paid for itself infinitely. The results? Mixed. Like many new items, some assembly is required. There were a couple of screws leftover, unused, but not necessarily pertinent. And yet, I've been using this constantly. It fits perfectly.
The freedom of expression. It's a challenging sort of concept if you've never given it thought, this 'freedom'. A big idea that had both fascinated and eluded me (working in tandem, as they are wont to do). And it's like...well, it's potent. I suppose it's something different for everyone. But it's potent.
The secret is yourself.
I had commented that same night that I've been more Charlie Brown-ish around the holidays. Reasons why are my own. The night transformed quite quickly- in the company of my family- to a healthy dose of pure, uncut happiness. And I've been riding it since. It's as though I got plugged into this energy source, and it has sped me up to a euphoric state. Last night, I decided to call a number of people to share the joyous good news that is....what? Life? Joy in general? Holiday well-wishes? Whatever it was, I'm sure it went on too late, and for that I apologize. It's just that when you have joy, you tend to want to spread it around. And so today, in addition to sending messages that sound jumbled ("Hey, sorry for the late-night call last night. Feeling strangely fine", for example), I feel like I'm on fire. What do people do with this? I should be painting, singing, taking pictures....something. Right?
I chose to write. Very necessary. Enjoy the weekend, all.
With the 20th anniversary of the release of my favorite album of all time, I figured I would take some time to explain why it is that I have become such a massive U2 fan. While there is plenty of time coming up in the future to describe the love of the music and sound, the personality and all that stuff, there are certain memories I have that not only do I associate with a time, a place, or a person, but in this case, with music. Here's one:
It was two years ago today that U2 streamed their concert from the Rose Bowl live across the world via youtube. At the time I was in Chile and trying to work out a long-distance relationship with a woman back home whom I cared deeply about. In the process of getting acclimated to this new place and the new job, it seemed like a good opportunity to stream the show together that evening.
Now, I've long been of the belief that music has a power to reach and to touch. I'm one of those. I firmly subscribe to the notion that as we are living, breathing human beings, we are subject to having things move us. And music does that for me; it has done so for as long as I can remember. U2, in particular, had come to move me and mean more to me from not only a musical perspective, but also from the vantage point of the memories it evokes. I understand that there are songs that remind us of people (Example: "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by the Smashing Pumpkins reminds me of my friend Kevin, and the summer we spent listening to Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness on repeat all day, every day. To THIS day, I hear anything by the Pumpkins, I immediately think of Kevin and that summer). There are also songs that remind us of places (Enrique Iglesias' "I Like It" will always remind me of Miami 2010). To that effect, U2 brings about feelings and emotions. "Where the Streets Have No Name" will always send a shiver up my spine, make my hair stand on end, and have me feeling invincible. Always.
Now to bring it back to the story...I'd been keeping up via Skype, and thought that this would be quite the magical marriage of my favorite band and my favorite gal (who traditionally had shook her head at the opening chord of any U2 song, knowing full well that it was 3-5 minutes of uninterrupted euphoria; not that it had to be silent, just that it was causing extreme joy. If you're going to butter me up to anything, having a soundtrack of that nature is a great strategic move...). Our arrangements were made to talk that night and to have the concert playing in the background. However, each of us working a full day and coming home after to sit still for a conversation could sometimes lead to drowsiness. I don't doubt that my enthusiasm for the idea exceeded hers, but we managed to get into the sound in time for the concert to start.
Now, for those of you who haven't seen anything from the U2 360 tour, I urge you to check it out. The music is testament to U2's staying power, at least as a live act. The set is....well, it's something to behold. And the experience of such a live show unchains me. Couldn't endorse it more.
And so we sat (and proceeded to lay down), watching the concert, listening to the music, and looking at each other. Until drowsiness took over us. While I won't bore you with the set list, both new and old songs were well-represented. Highlights 1-3 (links given if the embedding doesn't work):
1)Playing "In a Little While", which isn't a terribly common song played live, but fit the situation perfectly; to say it upped the beauty of the song is an understatement.
2) The move from "Streets" to "Ultraviolet": While WTSHNN is the best song I've ever heard live, the move to "Ultraviolet" off of Achtung, Baby (perhaps my favorite track from my favorite album) was spectacular. I was jarred awake by the intro to the song, but was MORE than pleasantly interrupted when I heard where they were going with it. Beautiful, Bono's ridiculous light jacket not withstanding.
3) Watching someone sleep through the end of the show. "Moment of Surrender" off of U2's latest effort has a similarly profound impact on me from both a emotional and spiritual direction. While I don't know if it makes for the best concert closer ("Out of Control" this past summer, for example, was better), it is a touching song. Combine that with the serenity that comes with someone fast asleep, and it became one of the best (if not THE best) moment I can remember about living abroad. I am reminded of that today, as it's been two years since the concert first aired.
The moment in itself had a longer-lasting effect than the concert, and yet the concert served as a way to connect not only the two of us, but also add the music- a third party- into the mix. At the show this past July, I was reminded of that night, and how surreal it was to be experiencing it live, fully awake. The rest I'm not sure if I can put into words. Rest assured more is on the way, though.
I spent a lot of time thinking about what to say about the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks on American soil. From personal recollections and responses to general reactions in my town, state, nation...to the international response in the ten years since towards Americans. I'm sure any of you who have read any material at all on the moment, the day have read similar thoughts and responses from far more accomplished than I.
I don't have much to add to the broad, over-exploited scope of response to the act itself. My message is simple:
Talk to each other.
As Americans, we are afforded the freedom to express ourselves freely. And if there's one thing that life in general shows us- every day- is that not doing so is to waste a freedom which the world is not universally privileged enough to possess. Every day, the world loses people. In that moment, we lose the opportunity to tell these people the things which we hold in our hearts and in our heads. We lose the opportunity to share memories, to express things like gratitude and love. So why wait? If you have people that you love, tell them that.
