October 31- Halloween? Plus, what a difference a month makes...

Halloween is probably the most overrated holiday on the calendar...well, no, that's not right. It's above Valentine's Day, and DEFINITELY above Columbus Day... but really, it's current events, so deal with it.

Now, I'm not a Halloween fan. I can be coerced into dressing up, and I certainly won't need a twist of the ol' smoke-thrower (read: arm) to have a goblet of witches brew, but my heart's not in it. Look, I've experienced enough Weenery that this year, I am not missing it. What's to miss? Let's take a look at some of the staples of Halloween and you can tell me when I've struck something that I will really miss....

1) Candy- This isn't as fun as when I was a kid and couldn't afford to get it myself on demand. Back in the day, heading out Halloween night with a couple of pillow cases (multiples were needed back then) was the highlight of the fall, particularly in years where I dressed up as Raphael...with Nikes. Now, I can walk to store, obtain the candy that I want, and walk away, ready to devour to my heart's content. See, the big difference is that I get to CHOOSE what kind of candy I want...I don't leave the acquisition of candy to chance. Plus, there was always the neighbor who gave out peanuts or Almondjoys/Mounds. Really? That's a piss-poor attempt to make kids happy. Everyone knows coconut isn't something people start to like until they're old enough for a pina colada. AND BY DOING THIS, I avoid the REAL ball-busters who A) left their lights out, or B) (and the worst-case scenario for any kid on Halloween) the ones who left their lights ON but ignored the trick-or-treaters. You guys suck. Don't be that person. Just leave a note saying that you are promoting good oral hygiene or something.

2) Adolescents- Now, I know what you're thinking: "but you're a teacher"...yeah, and the classroom is a fine place for a young person. Here's why Halloween is gone to the dogs: 'tweeners, who ARE- as their namesake suggests- part weeners. These are the kids with the uninspired costume (if they ever wear one), who still expect candy. Ahhh, listen kid...you're not even trying. You wanna sell me on this idea of GIVING you candy for simply showing up? Try harder. At least throw on a mask or something...shit, there'll be the kid who- in addition to not wearing anything that remotely resembles even a half-assed attempt to call it a costume- doesn't even say the fucking magic words. Look, you're either young enough to say it and humor the people who are holding all the power in this scenario, or you're not. Don't half-ass it. You have the rest of your life to NOT want to do this...if you're on the fence to begin with, just go home. Go home and learn to masturbate. Chances are, that's going to be a better long-term investment anyway!

3) Black cats- Cats in general suck. This is a fact and I'm sure some of you are having a hard time coming to terms with that. However, the truth of the matter is that cats are glorified for being creepy, and when you add their inherent creepiness factor to the costumes of murderers and frightening lineup of crappy horror movies, cats are associated with some lackluster times.

4) Scantily-clad women- I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that there are maybe 2 readers of this that are under 18, which may in fact make up 25% of my readership. To them I saw, wait until college, and you have a good 4-5 year window where you will feel like you stepped into your hard drive. I'm pretty sure more than three quarters of popular costumes can be made to look slutty at some point in time, and what better time to test that theory than Halloween. Slutty nurses, sluttly angels, slutty cats (really?), slutty football players, slutty referees, schoolgirls...this could go on a while. To make a long story a bit shorter, these costumes offer only the opportunity to see them in person and intoxicated. In reality, the same slutty outfits can be found online, will almost DEFINITELY take their clothes off, and won't get sick on the cab ride back to your place of residence (and yes, I'm slightly bitter about my window of opportunity to gawk at and stare wide-eyed at a roomful of these women who no doubt have fathers who shake their heads sadly).

5) People who don't get it- and by "it" I mean "my costume". Last year I was Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The year before that I was Dwight Schrute from the Office. I had far too many people ask me that year where I got the cool nerd costume. Ugh. On one hand it's TOTALLY worth it when you get the rare person that will get your obscure costume. On the other, the totally condescending looks that you get from the idiots (read: slutty cowgirls) who aren't intelligent enough to put together a reference to something to do with current events, et. al. really just puts a damper on the mood of the night. Hooray.

And so, with that in mind, I will be spending Halloween 2009 here in Antofagasta, checking out the city's International Festival, eating some kick-ass gyros, maybe an empanada, and then watching game 3 of the World Series...dressed up as an American tourist.

Now, as you may have noticed, I didn't give up a thing this month. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I mean, technically you could say that I gave up inhibition. I started October with the thought that the year was shaping up to be pretty lousy. I had an excellent September, but had little to look forward to in terms of travel, or professional opportunities. A month later, I have obtained a job, gotten an offer for two others, packed up my shit, left home to see the world, came to the Southern Hemisphere for the first time, gotten my own classroom, and have entered a city and country I would not have otherwise thought to check out. And it's been great.

Sure, there are things I miss about home. Right now it's a radio, skim milk, and a full spice rack. And of course there are people I wish I had spoken to before leaving. As has been discussed, I may be here for a while, and so there's a chance that I will not see these people for a long long time. Other than that, though, I think I've made it clear where I stand, and can only hope that as the future unfolds, that that will suffice.

The whole point of this site was to chronicle my year and my attempt to better myself through giving up things, important and otherwise. Life presents challenges daily, and it is our responses to these challenges that defines us. I like to think that I've done a pretty good job thus far, and with two months to go, I am looking forward to the upside of the rest of 2009. Obviously, coming to Chile has presented a bigger challenge than say, not shaving my stache for a month. Human nature is to do things to see if we can do them. Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Everest because it was there. Kids take cookies from the cookie jar because they want to see if they can pull it off. People cheat to see if they can do it without getting caught. Marathoners put themselves through all sorts of hell to see if they can withstand the punishment. For better or worse, we as a people are constantly putting ourselves through hoops to see if we can do it. This is MY hoop...or these have been my hoopS. I don't doubt that given a positive report of this challenge, I can do anything.

What's been so empowering is that this is a far enough distance to sufficiently say that I have lost my sense of dependence on the comforts of home. I don't live in a cave or in a ditch. I do, however, have numerous obstacles in navigating this new terrain. What's been so empowering is coming home at the end of a day and knowing that A) I gained another day of professional experience, B) I have made at least one more attempt to communicate with people with whom such means would be otherwise impossible, and C) I am getting a chance to see the world. Given my outlook on January 1st, 2009, this is a considerable improvement, one that was fairly well fast-forwarded over the course of the last month. "you can move on this moment, follow this feeling". Enjoy the holiday, everyone, and go Yankees!

Talk to each other.

October 25- Dancing, U2, Chile...

...but first, a bit of disappointment. I know, I know...I should be starting on a high note. However, I feel compelled to share with all (7) of you that I woke up this morning with a song stuck in my head and this desire to blare cheesy pop music couldn't be satiated until I had gotten a good listen in...of course, I am referring to the 1988 classic "Make Me Lose Control" by Eric Carmen. Carmen may be more famous for "All By Myself" and "Hungry Eyes" (from Dirty Dancing).

Here's the link to the video...

Now, aside from making me want to BE Eric Carmen for Halloween (the hair has reached that length, give or take some height and wingspan), this song just became disappointing. Here I was, singing the chorus with the gusto of someone who was showcasing a fine 80s hair band power ballad...all the while not knowing that the verses of this song are mush. Sappy puddles of crap. It's not until the 3:15 mark that this baby really picks up and I want to start fist-pumping the air...that's a lot of fluff to lead up to what would otherwise be THE baby-making song for Valentine's Day, 2010. Who knows? In the throes of passion, you may find that you are distracted from the first 3:14 of the song, in which case you should just TURN THE RADIO UP FOR THAT SWEET SOUND!! Especially endearing is the a Capella chorus at the end (3:53 if you're still watching/listening)...that's specifically what drove me to seek this song out first thing in the morning. Maybe I'm not disappointed. Maybe I just needed to get re-acquainted with an old classic, get a feel for the whole song. Put a gun to my head, and I take the whole song, wimpy beginning and all; it's a long-term investment that eventually pays off exponentially. Alright, I'm off my opening ramble. Let's get down to business, shall we?

Mothers, lock up your daughters...Eric Carmen's got hungry eyes...and the mane of a lion
Last night, I went out in Antofagasta for the first time, and came away extremely satisfied with the caliber of shenanigans ("shenaniganery" wasn't accepted by spell check) available in this city. I first traveled with some colleagues (which instantly makes us sound more professional and dignified than 'co-workers', which evokes images of desks and cubicles and ball-and-chain work weeks) to the Estadio to watch the Harlem Globetrotters! I had never seen them before, and of course, Chile presented me the most recent opportunity to see what all the fuss is about. We got GA seating, and so were way up in the nosebleeds for the game, which was still entertaining (AND in English...more on this in a second) by all measures. We even got to see the Washington Generals! Glad they made it out for the occasion. Despite my "1-2-5th" chants, I did not get an audience with the team. Tough break.

Anyway, there was a weird vibe to the game, as the schtick in-game was mostly physical, where the majority of the verbal banter was in English. This led to some head-scratching, but here's the thing: some of it was translated into Spanish. It was very odd to have some plays get the translation and others get nothing but a few chuckles from foreigners. Pretty bizarre. Plus, the acoustics or sound system sucked, which was too bad. All in all, however, a fun start to the evening. After this we rolled out to the Casino de Antofagasta. That's right. Legalized gambling. Score one for Chile! Anyway, Fabiane was celebrating her birthday at a restaurant in the casino, so we rolled on down and had a cocktail over laughs and peanuts. Great combination, though I will say the lemon juice added to my mojito? Not necessary.

Following that, we went clubbing! Aside from the smoke, it was a fantastic time. My moneymaker hadn't been shaken in ohhhhh, far too long, and so it certainly felt good to get on out on that dancefloor and work up a sweat. Fun times, all-around. Now, there was talk of heading out for some good, cheap grub at the mercado this morning, but since I am phoneless here in Chile, arranging said trip has been most tricky. In the meantime, I must say that my review of Antofagasta has been largely positive, with a few minor bumps in the road along the way. Two weeks in the bag. Yee-haw!

Anyway, before I go, I just thought I'd let you all know that U2 will be streaming their concert from the Rose Bowl in California TONIGHT on YouTube (U2ube?). Check out www.youtube.com/U2 for the show, because I think it'd be great to be able to share in the majesty of the show.

Talk to each other.

October 24- Thirteen days in, or "Two months until home".

"When I left my home and family I was no more than a boy in the company of strangers"

In the nearly two weeks that I've been here in Antofagasta, I feel as though there have been many emotions coursing through me on my journey to find...what? To do what? I haven't quite figured that out yet, nor have I figured out whether this is a long-term destination for me. I have spent the better part of three days with tissues up my nostrils, and so if that's the worst that happens to me, I consider myself in good shape. I will now field questions from the crowd...

1) What's it like there? It's beautiful, weather-wise. High 70s by day, cool at night, little humidity, the sound of the waves crashing at the base of my apartment building, and a nice view of the city from my bedroom window. There have been more clouds than I was expecting, but with my Irish skin, I suppose that's a blessing in disguise. Nevertheless, the weather is gorgeous and dry enough for the main patio at work to be open-air, with a few majestic-looking blue tarps (and I hate to call them tarps, as it evokes raking leaves and setting up camp) hanging overhead to provide some relief from the Sun.

2) What are the kids like? The kids have been curious, affectionate, and adorable. They are 6 years old for the most part, and just wrapping up first grade. Because the AIS program calls for English-taught classes from Kindergarten-8th grade, these kids speak English as well as most of the first graders I've dealt with at home, either in school or camp. Their accents, by the way, are such that I wish I could bottle them up and bring them home with me. I prefer to not go by Mr. Swingle, particularly since with such young kids, I think a more personable approach calls for a more intimate (until I can find a more appropriate term) term by which to address the teacher. I have the kids call me Mr. Keith, though with the accents it's "Meestor Keet", with a few kids coming around on their "-th" sounds. I teach thirteen kids in all (the benefits of a private school), most of whom are really ahead of where I would expect students at that age to be with their English development. They are still young enough to take orders without arguing (though some, of course, take a little longer to get grounded than others), and from day one have been more than vocal about what they are used to in their pre-existing daily routines.

3) What's the school like? It's been an amazing learning process, as the daily goings-on of the school differ from those back home. The kids have certain required hours of specific subjects (Language Arts/English, Math, Social Studies, Art, Tech. Ed., PE....no science, which is a mixed bag that I'll touch upon shortly) and so out schedule varies day-to-day (on Tuesdays, we have no Language Arts at all, which contrasts with Monday, and W-F, where we have two hours each). The Social Studies curriculum is laughable at best, whereas there is zero science curriculum posted. At all. None. Now, I'm not a big science guy...I enjoyed Physics because of the math, and I enjoyed Biology because it seemed applicable, but that's about it. That said, these students do not learn a whole lot about sciences in this school, and so I have actually taken to trying to incorporate a little bit of science into their weekly learnings. This week it was climate types.

4) How's your Spanish? This has easily been the biggest challenge of the trip thus far, and I predict that it will continue to be so for the duration of my stay here in Chile. While I did fairly well in Spanish through high school and college, I can honestly say that my reading of the language is okay at best. Speaking, listening, and understanding the language has been a huge struggle. My shortcoming was a glaring hurdle that I could not hop over at the airport, and has been a sort of electric fence preventing me from fully embracing this city. I took a stroll around town today with my roommate, Kelly, and was overwhelmed by the language that surrounded me not just from peoples' mouths, but on signs, billboards, and buildings throughout Antofagasta. It's more than humbling to have that sort of handicap, and my hat goes off to anyone who at one point or another has made the attempt to acclimate themselves in a new place.

5) What's the food like? To be honest, I have been out to eat here just once, and it was sushi. Granted, with the fresh seafood market here in Antofagasta, and coastal location, the seafood was good...but I haven't sampled the rest of the cuisine that might be more emblematic of this fine city. I had one empanada (a favorite) at AIS's International Day, so I'm a little reluctant to call that a true experience of Chilean cuisine. Part of this has been budgetary: I've alloted myself about $100 a week, most of which goes to groceries (the rest to bus fare, which is a whole other comment). I have taken to making one big meal on Sunday and making the rest of the food last the week. It's a pretty good method, though once I get paid (monthly, at the end of each month...), I will be able to better-acquaint myself with something tasty that I didn't have to labor over ;).

6) What are the people like? The parents of my students have been more than helpful in offering any assistance to me during my stay here. Apparently, the kids' former teacher had become really close with a lot of the parents, something I found out at a meeting I had with parents last weekend. Other staff members at the school have taken to doing their best to meet me halfway with the language thing, and have otherwise been accomodating. Otherwise, I can't quite tell if other people in the city look at me strange because I speak so slowly, or whether they're legitimately angry that I don't know immediately what they are saying to me. It takes a seemingly outrageously long time to process a question, translate it, formulate a response, and articulate a proper response verbally. Oy.

7) Do you miss home? I miss my home and the people around it. Right now I miss grass (dirt and sand...it IS in the Atacama Desert, technically) and the Yankees on television. Other than that, it hasn't been long enough for me to really be wanting for much yet. I think once I get hold of a ficha (basically, a laundry token), I'll be breathing a bit easier (down to 3 pairs of underoos, 4 pairs of white socks, and 3 dress socks). Luckily, it's not worse, since we have a uniform at school. It's a blue button-down and a pair of permanently-pressed khakis, with loose threads numbering somewhere between one and two dozen (actual number lost track during staff meeting yesterday).

8) Best thing about Antofagasta? So far, the view is superb (red hills, glowing street lights at night, pretty sunsets, and the vast expanse of the Pacific all from my apartment), and I like walking everywhere...except school, that is. It's an 8km walk to school (just about 5 miles), and so I'm not up early enough to make the trek on my own two feet. As I catch up on my grading and will not have to rely on showing videos and pictures on my laptop, I plan on adjusting what I bring to school so that I may walk to and/or from AIS each day. Access to a shower at school is paramount in this plan, as I am a sweater (I blame the abundance of chest hair, which as soared past the half dozen mark since my arrival). This may also help to shed some of the excess baggage I've been wearing this entire year. The 103 bus takes me to and from school each day, though it is often less than comfortable. Frequent, sudden stops make it a pain in the neck, quite literally. Also, the leg room is minimal; I feel like a pale giant here.


The guy on the right is your average Chilean...sadly, I am not too far off with the hair.

9) Do I need anything? Not really, but thanks. Look, I'm taking this opportunity to moderate my intake and lifestyle habits. Do I want anything? Nothing that can be sent through the mail, I'm afraid. They have Budweiser and soap, and so I am fairly certain that the rest will fall into place.

10) Do you think you'll stay the extra two years? It's impossible to say at this point. I told myself the day after I got here that I wouldn't worry about answering that question until after November 1, that the next couple of weeks will be spent living it up and enjoying my new surroundings. Going back on that now seems like a wasted opportunity to soak up what's around me and enjoying the moment, albeit a 2-month long moment.

Well there you have it. Tonight, I'm heading out to see the Harlem Globetrotters! I know I know...it took me this long and this many miles to see the Generals in person. Well, it should certainly be exciting yelling out "125th St! I take Metro-North from there!!". Anyway, more to come probably tomorrow....perhaps some World Series pre-talk?

Talk to each other.

October 21- Musings of a first grade teacher...oh, and a foreigner, too.

...and by foreigner, I don't mean that I'm hot blooded. I've had a week to adjust to my new role of "Chilean resident", and it's slowly occurring to me that I like it here.

October 14- Donde esta Keith?

Two weeks ago yesterday, I was approached with a job proposition by a friend of mine who teaches at an international school in South America. Since my job prospects are looking like the Red Sox, I decided to at least apply, just to get another one out there. Well, 48 hours later and I had a job teaching first graders in Chile! It was literally a 48-hour time frame between diving into my 4th year of subbing and being a full-time employee in the Southern Hemisphere.

I suppose a brief re-cap of my travels from Saturday until now are in order (just know that I'm typing this while on my apartment's balcony that overlooks the Pacific, while sipping on some delicious Chilean wine. You are now free to be jealous):

Saturday I was up fairly early to make sure everything was in order and ready to go. Mom and I stopped down in Long Beach to visit Yvan and his fiance, Charlene, and their new abode. The thing I love about Yvan (well, among the many things) is that he's an immediate boost emotionally whenever I see him. I had an admittedly rough time saying farewell to home, and it felt great to get a lot of laughs and smiling in before taking off on my 24-hour+ traveling binge. That certainly helped, as the flights were long and the waits at multiple airports were even longer. I started off at JFK, checking my bags and plopping down for a solid couple of hours before taking off for Atlanta.

The flight to Atlanta was uneventful; I managed to plug in and watch Wolverine on the way there (thereby checking it off of my to-see list! Zing!)....I must say, it wasn't as bad as the reviews had said. Granted, the ending tried to be too grandiose, which kinda was too bad...I like the premise of the prequel and story behind Wolverine, and while Hugh Jackman did a good job, I just thought that the bit with the nuclear site blowing up was bullshit.

Anyway, the wait in Atlanta was over two and a half hours, and since Atlanta's such an efficient airport, I had a bit of time to kill. I finished reading a delightful Frank Sinatra life guide/biography, courtesy of Dan-O, and boarded the plane for a fun-filled 8 hour flight to Santiago, Chile. I will say that the flight was not full, and so I was able to "sprawl" across three coach-class seats to sleep....briefly....for a total of maybe 2 hours of the flight. I roused from slumber easily for once because I didn't want to get my head whacked or my ankle mangled a la Misery by the food/beverage cart. I started my journal, made a good entry, and managed to catch the sunrise from the other side of the plane as it crept up over the Andes.

Landing in Santiago went smoothly, despite a language barrier that hit me like a sack of rocas. After getting through customs and whatnot, I had an EIGHT AND A HALF HOUR wait at the airport...so naturally, I started reading (this time, The Yankee Years by Joe Torre/Tom Verducci), but dozed off for some more uncomfortable sleep...across my luggage, lest I get robbed in broad daylight. After perhaps the most boring stretch in my life (and certainly in the recent past), I finally boarded the plane for the last in-air leg of the trip, to Antofagasta. Antofagasta was pleasantly small and a quick exit, where I met up with Milena, who is the director of the lower school (and, therefore, the first graders that I am teaching). I met her and Raul, another teacher from AIS, and we drove off to find my living quarters.

Part two coming later tonight...for now, there's a Chilean World Cup qualifier (Chile qualified last week, so this is just to have a drink and pizza) to watch upstairs. Will update later.

October 6- Full post

It's currently 5:22 a.m. I am sitting at my dining room table with a tissue in each nostril. I am tired and need a shave. I will blame it on dust in my room, but only because the alternative would make for a shitty start to what has become a mighty interesting journey....

My month of September started out in a hot tub in the Outerbanks in North Carolina. I spent a week in the good company of some old friends and some friends of friends, and have concluded that it was one of the most relaxing weeks I can remember. We were treated to warm weather, good eats, and a lot of laughs, all on a very manageable budget. If it weren't such an inconvenient hour, I would be more than inclined to ask my buddy Fish where he went online for such a deal. Basically a 4-floor house with room to sleep 20 cost 9 of us about $125 a piece for the week. For my money, and the comfort of my own room, that was a no-brainer. Search for it online, and give it some thought, as the ocean and relative isolation make for great companions on a getaway.
I had a wonderful time and have been raving about what a great time it was...what about it was so special, you ask? Here are 5 things that I loved about OBX:
1) Access to water: the thin strip of land that is the Outerbanks just about guarantees that there is at any point less than a half mile's walk to find water. The Ocean and (where we were anyway) the Pamlico Sound surrounded us, offering calmer waters for wading in the Sound- which, by the way, was the most gradual descent into deeper waters than I can remember- and the Atlantic offering waves and some great fishing opportunities. Certainly something for everyone (as long as everyone likes sand and water)...
2) Fishing: I'm not a fishing kind of guy. I don't have the patience for activities that I have for people...that said, it's hard to not get excited when you see a rod bend and the line get taut with a catch struggling to break free on the other end of the line. I think there's a lot to be said for the fishing culture, or one that focuses its energy on a daily (or more frequently) struggle between man and nature. Information cannot be merely read and taught in theory; its nature demands that it be experienced first-hand. I'm sure Hemingway wrote about this along the way...I'm just glad I got to experience it. After all, life is all about experience, right?
3) Small community: Vacationing in cities doesn't exactly thrill me. I cannot think of a less-relaxing place than New York City. Even on my leisure trips there, I always feel like I have to BE somewhere or DO something...a vacation this does not make. The Outerbanks offered distance from a lot of hustle and bustle that would serve- intentionally or not- to burst my bubble of enchantment with the notion of going away. Maybe it was the time of year (JUST after kids in NC go back to school, effectively off-season, though still before Labor Day), maybe it was just the desire to get away from it all...whatever the reason, I loved the small town feel of OBX, and was happy to get wrapped up in my own drive to escape the usual mix of nostalgia, pangs of lovelorn angst, and the dreaded unemployment.
4) Tranquility: I will go out on a limb and fabricate the notion that everyone on their ride down said "you know what? I am just not going to worry about anything this week". Whatever conversations people had out loud or with themselves, it worked. I don't recall encountering one conversation about how crappy this is or how unfortunate that is or anything of that ilk. Goodness knows we've all got things to consider and battle in our lives; it was nice to be on the same page of putting those worries on the back burner for most of the week.
5) Country music: Not a typo. While I would not have chosen such music to be the soundtrack of the week in the south, I found myself tapping along (as I often do) to beats and getting wrapped up in the laid-back attitude of the playlists provided by my co-travelers. It was a nice background sound to the escape from the reality of the real world (and its unwillingness to find me a job....well....). I find myself very appreciative of something new to associate with a fun, care-free attitude and an overall sense of well-being during my trip.

The month rolled along with a trip to Charlotte on my way back, the Kings of Leon show, Colorado, U2, and ended with a most unexpected message rolling my way...long story short: I got a job! Teaching first grade! In Chile! ::record scratches:: what? Chile? Like, South America?
Yes. A friend of a friend works down there and something came up, affording me the opportunity to teach FOR A LIVING (I know...who'd have thought such a thing was possible?) for a little while in South America. Details to follow, as this blog will soon be taking on a different and perhaps more purpose-driven identity in the coming days (Yep, days).

Anyway, before I get too carried away (and take a break for a shower and some early-morning errands), I should just say that my most recent trip to Charlotte has made me love NC even more than I had upon my first trip there. I stayed with my buddy Alan, who was moving into his new place the day I rolled up. I felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment after we constructed a dresser for him (after another completely hetero trip to Ikea), and proceded to celebrate once again at the Epicenter in downtown Charlotte. I am proud of Alan for picking up and relocating because it suited him; those sorts of risks are less and less common, and I'm happy to see him in a better position for it.

Will update later. Talk to each other.