February 9, 2010 (a)- Leaving Antofagasta

By the time I had made the decision to leave Antofagasta, Chile, for good, a lot had taken place to turn life upside-down. Uncle Tom- a hero of mine- passing away put things into perspective: being away from home involves big steps and while those steps were a daring step to something new, having taken that step away from home had its consequences. I grew up in a very close-knit family, and so having not been there immediately when he passed away (and definitely being in another continent) made the terrible experience even more saddening. THEN, having to go back...I dunno, something changed and my attitude was different. I love the kids, I love my co-workers...it's just an incredibly tough thing to do. If nothing else, I needed some downtime. I understand the need on the part of the school to get a commitment, I just couldn't wrap my head around the possibility of being down there for two more years.

In the end, I decided to come home for good. At the time, I also thought I had a teaching opportunity back home (which has since been yanked off the table, news which I received the day after I got back from the funeral). Heading back, the last ten days of classes became a celebration and an opportunity to have fun with my kids more often and discipline them heading out the window. We played wiffle-ball, took breaks to admire the ocean view, had futbol practice, made a music video, and taught each other languages.

The students, the parents, the staff, the city...I will miss it all. Every day I consider the idea of heading back and what I'll be missing (a lot). I just felt at the time that my heart was at home...and I needed to get back there. What I will miss about Chile is that it was truly a time to learn something about fear (being a stranger in a strange land with a language barrier) and courage (trying to communicate anyway). I learned many a valuable lesson and life skill while in Antofagasta, and will carry that with me for as long as I live. I gave teaching my all, and am content with my attempts to do things that I would not otherwise do, regardless of opportunity.

Tough place to leave. Thank you so much, Antofa, for the memories...
As a result, I feel much more comfortable in my own skin and in my ability to communicate and accomplish things that are set on my plate. Chile transformed me and gave me confidence. I was told that it would take everything I knew about myself and knock it to pieces, forcing me to re-build from the ground up. It's true, perhaps. As it is, I'm at a point where I am still trying to re-align what it is that I want to do, where it is that I want to be...needless to say, Chile has stirred the pot; what will be interesting to see is how things settle, or if they settle.

Talk to each other.