April 23- Baseball, failure, pet peevin'

Back from Chicago. What a town. A few quick notes before I get to the meat of the post...

-- Smaller and slower pace than NYC. These are two massive positives. While I'm sure that I missed some vital parts of the city, I spent an entire afternoon strolling about and felt content with the amount that I saw. Invariably in NY, if you do nothing but walk around, you WILL miss a tremendous amount, no matter where you are. I don't know if that made sense to you, but if it did, then Chicago is a hell of a great place to me. Trust me.

-- Saw a lot of women with beefy arms in Chicago. Maybe it was the gorgeous weather, but I feel as though I see out-of-shape people of both genders (raises beefy hand) all the time. Chicago seemed unique as I felt as though I saw a number of attractive women who just had big, sweaty hams of arms. Is this normal? I've seen women with wide hips ('birthing' hips, though for whatever reason I call them 'baby-making' hips), and obviously there are women with a nagging 'area'...I just don't think I've ever seen it centrally located in the elbow. I'm not even saying I was repulsed/turned off/offended... I would say a cross between curiosity and fascination is more accurate.

-- If Chicagoans throw down deep dish slices like I throw down "regular" slices, I am surprised that I wasn't a freak for wearing a belt. In a related story, it would justify beefy arms.

-- Another stellar experience at Bradley Int'l. Keep it up, guys...

-- I will not be meeting my book-reading goal for this month on account of traveling. I do not regret this at all.


-- I've been listening to and becoming increasingly interested in podcasting. Among the 'casts I've been listening to is Adam Carolla's (of Man Show, Love Line, and Crank Yankers fame), and I must say it's been rather enjoyable. It's like talk radio without the commercials and ass-kissing callers. Anyway, one of the pet peeves shared on the most recent episode that I listened to is when people say "I hate to do this, but...". Suffice it to say I was nodding vigorously in agreement. That sounded a LOT like "I don't mean to be a dick, but..." or "I don't mean to be rude, but...". It's like you're building in an excuse, much like these public apologies we are hearing so frequently for offensive comments/people.....

"I'm sorry if I offended anyone" is a blanket statement for anyone who says anything even remotely offensive about anyone else. This false apology idea was covered excellently by Nancy Gibbs in her recent TIME magazine article (linked above). Though she focused much of the article on big bank CEOs and their NOT apologizing, there was a bit that unearthed the sad truth behind the fact that when people DO apologize, it's half-assed and vague, as if to blanket any- and everything they "may have" done wrong.

"I don't mean to be a dick, but..." is a great way of preparing anyone listening to you that you will, in fact, be a dick. If you're going to say something that may offend someone, JUST SAY IT. Give whomever it is that you're talking with the opportunity to figure out for themselves whether or not they should be offended. Prefacing whatever it is that you're going to say with something like "I don't mean to be a dick, but..." is roughly translated to "Get ready to be offended/I AM a dick, and here's why". I'm not exactly worked up over this. It's just a frustrating use of non-confrontational language at an inappropriate or inopportune time. Silly.


I don't mean to be a dick, but could you stop talking so fucking loudly? You're annoying the shit out of me. No one cares whether or not your kid survived the car crash. Be courteous to your fellow passengers. Dick.

P.S. I hope you all get that the above is a dramatization. I'm sorry if I offended anyone (see? works like a charm!)...


So the meat of my post today is focused on baseball. It's baseball season. I am excited. There's nothing that you can do to stop that. Just let it happen. ANYWAY, I went to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field during my trip and let me just say that as a baseball fan, I can think of no better place to watch a ballgame. It's the truth. Now, I don't mean to be a dick, Buuuuuuuuuuuut... Yankee Stadium (the old one, not the eye-opener) in later years became a more business-oriented establishment. Were games still enjoyable? Sure. Was the atmosphere late in a close game downright hostile? Yes (one of the best aspects of the place). Was it intimidating for opposing teams to come into town? You bet. My problem is that for people who go simply to watch a game, the jumbotron and the excesses that come with it (advertisements, commercials, gimmicky games) distract from the beauty that is baseball... There's something about the intimacy and the individualism of baseball that appeals to me, and the more I see ads promoting shit that has NOTHING to do with baseball, the more I just want to watch people throw, hit, and catch baseballs. While the on-field business of a Yankee game remained relatively true to the game (barring the DH, of course), the stuff in between offefred a minor- or major, if you let it- distraction.

Wrigley Field was devoid of that.

It was baseball, and only baseball. No one was there to watch the scoreboard light up and dazzle with games and gimmicks. The players on the field were THE show. The whole show. The entire show. Nothing more. It was baseball Heaven. I cannot possibly describe the whole feeling of being in a place where baseball is the main attraction, though I can now say from experience that the new Yankee Stadium loses a little something with the sleek new packaging. Now before anyone goes and makes a big fuss over this, let me just say that there are things that I am ecstatic about with the new stadium. Thrilled. However, looking at just the picture below, can you honestly tell me that baseball is the undisputed subject of the atmosphere there?


No caption. What I will leave you off with is this: look at the picture above. Look at the picture below. In the picture below, YANKEE STADIUM is PART of the building. In the above picture, I got the feeling like it was a sadly necessary afterthought to place the name of the place on top of everything else, as if to say "oh, you don't recognize this place...it's Yankee Stadium". The problem is that we have to be told- in an afterthought moment- that this is where baseball is played between ads and games. Give me Wrigley.

April 16- Chicago!

Mmmmmmmmmmmm....






Mmmmmmmmm.....






MMm---oh. Oh, hey. Sorry about that. I was taking full advantage of being able to eat fries again. Glorious, glorious potatoes crispy-fried to perfection, how I have missed thee...in all seriousness, though, the Lent eating better thing worked out fairly well. I dropped 7-8 lbs during the 40 days essentially by improving my diet (though I will give warmer weather credit for the assist on this one. I shall be a nice bronze by May). Pretty solid.

Despite my best efforts, I will most certainly not tan anywhere other than my forearms. All summer long.


In other news, I have been faring very well with one of my two challenges. As of today, I am more than halfway through my personal challenge of not putting salt on my food. I'm proud of this accomplishment, and am feeling really good about not having to put salt on EVERYTHING at the end of the month. The long-term positives about this are well-documented. Short-term positives include getting to eat me food quicker because I'm not wasting time with the salt shaker. Hooray! Bad news: my stock in Morton Salt is essentially worthless (but I'm not the only one.....ZING!)

The Great Recession has been brought to you today by the letters A, I, and G

The "betterment" half of my April challenge, however, is not going nearly as well. I have yet to finish any of my books. As I have mentioned, I have started a great number of books. As of yesterday, I've made progress, but as it turns out, I've just selected generally really nerdy and scholarly books WHICH...I'm just not in the mood for right now. As a result, I have started Prince Caspian, from the Narnia series...I'm working through a solid three books at once (making for a loooooong flight), so the short story (pun TOTALLY intended) is that I've got a lot of reading to do...which will be made tought because......I'm in Chicago!


Chicago: If you don't think I'd move here, you are sorely mistaken




That's right, I've made my triumphant return to the Second City. Perks include good eats, a lack of responsibility, and Cubs/Cardinals. Wrigley Field, here I come...downsides include simply not reading books. Heh. Winner: Me.

While writing this post, Dan (gracious host/aspiring do-gooder) and I had a light debate on whether Eli Manning (SB Hero) looks like Bruce Springsteen (American Hero). You tell me:


Alright, so the facial hair gives it away...but still....

April 9- Axe to grind

This morning on the radio, a very well-educated woman was discussing an issue when she said that she could care less about what people have to say on public forums. My problem with this is that she could care less. It's "I COULDN'T care less". Asshole. If you want to expand on how you don't care about something, it's "I couldn't care less". If you say "I COULD care less", you're essentially signifying that you DO care. If you COULD care less, you would! This infuriates me not because people misuse sayings-- If people don't know, that's fine...just educate them-- but because people are generally fucking ignorant to it. THINK about what you're saying, THEN say it.

Ridiculous.

April 8- A few trivia-related musings, upcoming challenge

So I've been hosting trivia night for a few months now, and have recently started working a 4th night during the week (translation: straight cash, homey). In my time as host (the trivia company's official title for people like myself is "trivia jockey". Woof.), I have been witness to brawls, chug-offs, threats, propositions, and some other weird stuff. Anyway, here are a few thoughts I've been batting around on the trivia scene:

- Team names that deal with current events are my favorite, when clever. I interact with a number of savvy and fairly intelligent people each week as part of my work, and I am almost always impressed with the humorous (not former professional wrestler Hugh Morris) names. While these can sometimes be distasteful ("So what brings you to Fargo, anyhow?"), they're at least clever, and are demonstrative of an audience who is up-to-speed with what's going on in the world.

- I secretly enjoy the continuity of names, mostly because it just means that the teams who play behind them are there each week (I'm talking to you 'nerf or nothing', 'love kills slowly', 'dumpster babies', and 'the team that yells "hey"'). I like to use my imagination and tell myself that this is at least a tiny bit attributed to who's hosting (and the mass love for my failed attempts at growing facial hair).

- It's puzzling to me that people will often ask for me to give them the correct answer when they hand in their answer sheets...you're being read the answer AT THE END OF THE SONG. What's the problem?

- I can't stand people who use their phones during trivia. It's a fucking GAME, people. If you can't play a simple game like this- which really has no stakes, since it IS free to play- on your own merit, what's the point? AND more often than not, it's the teams who are struggling to begin with, so it's not even amounting to anything substantial!

- There's a fine line between loud and obnoxious. On occasion, it becomes tough to distinguish the difference between the two and where people fall.

- I thoroughly enjoy my job. It really is often the hightlight of my night (or, in some rare occasions, my week). I like what I do and hope that the people who come out to enjoy trivia enjoy it, too. I try to incorporate some questions of my own and added stuff to the mix.



Anyway, I've decided to pick up writing again. Expect an update on a writing project in the near future. That's all for now. Keep it comin'.

April 6- April, March re-cap, Opening Day

To bring in April, I thought I'd throw down my thoughts during the Yankees' opener against the Baltimore Orioles. Here we go:

4:21- Just before first pitch, I'm told that the Orioles have has 11 straight losing seasons. This is PROBABLY why Teixera did not sign with Baltimore. Just a thought. That said, in the mid-90s, the Orioles were a very fiesty team. What happened?

4:25- First pitch for a strike. Derek Jeter leading off this year for the Yankees. This is a fairly interesting move for the Yanks to make with the messiah (Note the sarcasm). I'm pretty excited though. Jeter's a fairly solid hitter historically in the leadoff spot.

4:28- Single for Jeter. Here's the thing: it's not that I don't like Jeter-- on the contrary, Jeter's the player I've been following throughout his entire career, which is a first for me as a baseball fan, so there's always some sort of sentimental favoritism there-- it's just that he's not the greatest player that the team puts out. I'm firmly entrenched in the unbiased camp who recognizes that there are better players that the Yankees have had wear their uniform (yupp, the other guy).

4:32- End of inning. Teixera booed lustily (THOROUGHLY enjoy the word "lustily", by the way)...fairly low-key half-inning. I'm more pumped for Sabathia anyway.

Alright, alright...rather than doing the running diary, I just will continue to type during the game, at least for a bit. I understand it's been quite a while since I posted, and so I've got a lot to make up for. With that said, here we go:

So March finished up fairly well. I hooked you kids up with some pictures below of a before and after, but I must divulge that at least one person called my 'stache "creepy". Not the sort of feedback I was hoping for, but I suppose that justifies my shaving it.


On the other half of my monthly challenge, I was successful (thanks to a late run) in my quest to listen to 31 new albums in March, capping it off with the Beach Boys classic "Pet Sounds". This should make for an entire post on its own, but then again, I've been bad enough with it, I won't make any promises.

On to April...I decided that since I've been batting a thousand with my Crunch-Time-Lent-Super Challenge (I dunno...had to make it sound exciting), I think I'm going to take a fairly moderate challenge this month, that being.....giving up putting salt on my food. It's not that I've got a bad heart, it's more that I REALLY like putting salt on my food. So I'm trying to kick that habit...so far, so good. Suffice it to say that it'll be more challenging after Lent is over and I can nosh on fries again. Yikes.

As for bettering myself...my goal is to have read five books by the end of the month (one per 6 days. I would think that that is a fairly lofty goal). I'm currently hacking my way through the first of the five, and so I'm a bit behind my pace...wish me luck!

VS

I don't know why I'm smiling...the mustache ride is donezo...