Irritating things that I am- at times- guilty of myself:
1) Not holding doors open for people. Now, I'm not really referring to the people who hold a door open for a bunch of people and then stop when it's my turn to go through the doorway, and I'm certainly not saying this to people who hold it for a second and then let go. That's fine. I'm glad you made the effort. I am referring to the ass that holds the door open, looks over his shoulder, SEES SOMEONE APPROACHING, and lets go anyway. More often than not this jerk-off is in too much of a rush to get back to his DVR or XBOX to hold the door open for someone with a cane or a wheelchair that could really use the seemingly insignificant display of chivalry. Dick. I will go out on a limb and say that I am never guilty of leaving those who could use the assistance out in the cold (figuratively or literally).
2) A lack of returning phone calls/e-mails. Now, I am guilty of this, though I WILL say it's overwhelmingly when I know I will be seeing the person I was supposed to get back in touch with in the near future, like within 24 hours. When it's business or something important...how long does it really take you to say "I got your message"? Even that acknowledgement that, yes, I did in fact get some piece of information from you that I am processing or at the very least acknowledging would be fine. When I e-mail someone from work and don't hear back, or when I call to leave a message and never hear back from that person....it's bothersome. If I didn't want to hear back from you, why the hell would I have called in the first place? That said, I owe Tro a call.
3) Not using blinkers. Give me fair warning that you are going to be slowing down, or I AM apt to swear at you. I get angry on the road for justifiable reasons (idiotic drivers), and inexplicably slowing down is one of them. I'm not saying you need to go 80 in a 55...what I WILL expect is that you use the parts of your fucking car that are meant to alert other drivers to what you are going to do. Otherwise, use fucking hand signals. I use blinkers. You should, too (and yes, I will sound preachy about this...and when you're going to make the turn, don't hog the road. It's frustrating enough having to come to a halt, but not being able to see/get around your fat fucking Cadillac just adds icing to an already bitter cake).
4) Don't ask for the opinions of others if you're not going to listen to the whole opinion. This one is probably the worst offender of the group, and I'm already getting The Rage just thinking about it. If you want an opinion that's like yours, make your own blog, type, and then re-read it. Your sense of self-satisfaction and complacency will sustain you. If you're going to ask people what they think, DO NOT expect everyone to sugar-coat things for you. In an adult world, it's high fucking time the "I don't want to hurt feelings" card gets thrown away. Honesty is better (though bitter) than a tight-lipped smile. And if you're going to ASK for advice or ask for an opinion, shut the fuck up and listen to what the other person has to say! The world is made up of different opinions. You have yours. I have mine. If you ask to hear mine, don't roll your eyes like fucking Cookie Monster, don't cut me off, and don't tell me I'm wrong. Opinions aren't wrong. Misinformed? Perhaps. Absurd? Almost certainly. Something you will always agree with? Definitely not. But listen, because here's a piece of advice: you asked for it. You're getting it. Suck it up.
5) Guys who are constantly fidgeting with their junk. Did you just have a brand-new dick installed? No? THEN STOP PLAYING WITH YOURSELF IN PUBLIC! You look absurd and insecure and frankly, no one's going to want to shake your hand. Besides, I'm pretty sure you'd know VERY quickly if it all of the sudden wasn't there.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
May 26th- Another?
Sorry all. I got back from work where we had an unprecedented 15 teams...and so I had a few drinks and am tired enough to not want to waste your time by posting a half-assed entry. Rest assured tomorrow will be a new day (and one of diligence and care) and so I will be posting then.
May 26th- Update needed
I've got some serious making up to do with you readers. I have no good reason for not posting. In fact, the reasons I have are pitiful, and really, I'm embarrassed to have not done anything in the last near 4 weeks to post.
A lot of this stems from my mission to not watch TV. As a result, I've been working and reading more, so my mid-day posts are not even options, since I am normally at work (I decided to take today off as a result of a post- May 25th hangover) during the day lately...which leads to my first tirade of this post:
::ahem:: Two things I hate about subbing:
1) Kids who say "Whoa! We got a sub today? Yesssssss!". These kids are more often than not problematic students. While I appreciate their dedication to pointing themselves out as students I need to keep an eye on, their demonstrative behavior IN MY FUCKING FACE is unnecessary. Listen, you've JUST established yourself as a dickhead in this classroom...now, do you REALLY want to compound that with acting up? Why don't kids ever think about this? And, more importantly, why do students in 12th grade still act this way? I think by the time I turned 17 I was more excited by oh I don't know....women? At age 18, your primary goal shouldn't be to piss off a substitute teacher. Do you know what that says to me? Well, use your imagination. Jackass.
2) Students who use text in class. Look, you know the rules. I know the rules. I know you know I know the rules. So why even bother trying to send text messages in-class? Let's go over a few things to drive my point home....first, I am a sub. My primary function is to prevent stabbings, shouting, and drawing penises on walls. Second, your primary teacher is not likely to leave legitimate plans for me to actually teach you. It is because of this that I am constantly looking around the room to see if anyone's behaving in a way that is noteworthy, since again, students have little respect or regard for subs. Third, when the room is dark because I was left in charge of pressing the PLAY button on the DVD player and your face is the only one lit up by a little screen, you're busted. Fourth, when your head is down but you're not sleeping or not writing and you're just looking down for no particular reason, I know what's going on. You don't even have a fucking pen on your desk. This is logic, and this is probably why you failed it.... Then of course you get the kids who put their bags on their desk to block the phone from my view. Dickhead, now it's BLATANTLY obvious that your worksheet or whatever-the-hell is not on your desk and that you are DEFINITELY not doing what you're supposed to be doing. SINCE MY TEACHING IS MINIMAL, I AM GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THESE THINGS! YOU ARE BOUND TO GET INTO TROUBLE! IS 45 MINUTES OF NOT USING YOUR FUCKING PHONE TO TEXT "IDK" TO SOMEONE ELSE TOO LONG? OR are you content to get the phone taken away and get written up? I weep for the future.
On a sidenote, I got the stink eye from someone the other day because I nearly walked into them while they were texting. Now, perhaps I could be faulted for not taking advantage of my situation (being the person not texting) and side-stepped the situation. My rebuttal to that is that YOU ARE IN PUBLIC! BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS! It's like falling into a hole because you were looking around at the scenery. The hole was there independently of your paying attention. If it's that important, then fucking CALL the person! I cannot stress this enough, the next generation of Americans is fucked.
Think about it: we're slowly moving towards a society in which face-to-face interaction takes up less of our time. I'm guilty of texting and of posting tirades and opinions online (so unless you've seen me recently, these tirades and whatnot are something you will never hear me talk about live), and of course I enjoy a quick text or e-mail or IM...it's just unfortunate that these methods of communication are overwhelmingly becoming more and more prevalent in our society. In Technology in the classroom, a grad course I took, our professor encouraged us to figure out a way to make Twitter work in the classroom. This took place before Twitter became "the bee's knees", and so I forced myself to come up with a good project idea. I don't agree with what I wrote, though it got rave reviews and probably would be effective in a classroom. HOWEVER, I don't see what the problem is with talking to one another and learning to communicate effectively in person without "lol"s and "wtf"s and "ttyl"s. Absurd.
ANYWAY... another reason I haven't been updating is travel. I've spent my weekends in May out of town. As a result, my presence in front of a computer has been limited to email checking and fantasy baseball updating. This leads me to tirade #2 on the day...
So I spent the other weekend celebrating the law school graduation of a good friend of mine, Chuckles Lawdog McNasty, (esq. to be filled in here shortly). I must say few things make me genuinely happy as when I meet friends of friends of mine who turn out to be good people. I experienced this in LA, Chicago, and the booming metropolis of Concord. The gentlemen of Action Jackson are always accomodating and up for fun and hijinks whenever they have out-of-town company. It deserves its own mention, and so here it is.
I mean, think about it: haven't you ever met the friend of a friend and they're kind of a jerk or just an ass in general? I can think of a few such instances, and while some of them can be brushed off as "oh, so and so just comes to parties" or "oh, she's only friends with _______ . She and I aren't that close", others have no excuse. Chuckles does not have such a problem at law school, or at least didn't while he was there.
I've managed to read four more books this month, and am currently still strugging to finish one that I started last month and am anticipating busting through that one so I can get to "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell, author of "Blink", as well as "Why We Suck" by Denis Leary. At least they are engaging.
Alright, let's get a few things squared away now that I'm running on all cylinders:
1) ALL cylinders is not true. I haven't run on all cylinders since 2007. This is probably the most passionate I'm going to be for right now.
2) I detest facebook applications. It's petty, yeah. I will say, though, that the applications for top movies and whatnot is ridiculous since THEY GIVE YOU FUCKING SPACE TO ENTER INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT YOUR FAVORITE THINGS ARE! Do we REALLY need another forum for that? I vote no.
3) Twitter bothers me. If you want a brief synopsis of random observations, call someone. If you are going to use such a site for something practical, good for you. I can't understand why people will want to get an instant update whenever Ashton Kutcher thinks up something contrived and unnecessarily-influential to put online. I haven't read any posts of his, but I would be willing to wager that a small amount of it is substantially thought-provoking.
4) We are a long way away from experiencing a substantial enough change in the economy.
Alright, time for lunch. Another post is on the menu for this afternoon.
A lot of this stems from my mission to not watch TV. As a result, I've been working and reading more, so my mid-day posts are not even options, since I am normally at work (I decided to take today off as a result of a post- May 25th hangover) during the day lately...which leads to my first tirade of this post:
::ahem:: Two things I hate about subbing:
1) Kids who say "Whoa! We got a sub today? Yesssssss!". These kids are more often than not problematic students. While I appreciate their dedication to pointing themselves out as students I need to keep an eye on, their demonstrative behavior IN MY FUCKING FACE is unnecessary. Listen, you've JUST established yourself as a dickhead in this classroom...now, do you REALLY want to compound that with acting up? Why don't kids ever think about this? And, more importantly, why do students in 12th grade still act this way? I think by the time I turned 17 I was more excited by oh I don't know....women? At age 18, your primary goal shouldn't be to piss off a substitute teacher. Do you know what that says to me? Well, use your imagination. Jackass.
2) Students who use text in class. Look, you know the rules. I know the rules. I know you know I know the rules. So why even bother trying to send text messages in-class? Let's go over a few things to drive my point home....first, I am a sub. My primary function is to prevent stabbings, shouting, and drawing penises on walls. Second, your primary teacher is not likely to leave legitimate plans for me to actually teach you. It is because of this that I am constantly looking around the room to see if anyone's behaving in a way that is noteworthy, since again, students have little respect or regard for subs. Third, when the room is dark because I was left in charge of pressing the PLAY button on the DVD player and your face is the only one lit up by a little screen, you're busted. Fourth, when your head is down but you're not sleeping or not writing and you're just looking down for no particular reason, I know what's going on. You don't even have a fucking pen on your desk. This is logic, and this is probably why you failed it.... Then of course you get the kids who put their bags on their desk to block the phone from my view. Dickhead, now it's BLATANTLY obvious that your worksheet or whatever-the-hell is not on your desk and that you are DEFINITELY not doing what you're supposed to be doing. SINCE MY TEACHING IS MINIMAL, I AM GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THESE THINGS! YOU ARE BOUND TO GET INTO TROUBLE! IS 45 MINUTES OF NOT USING YOUR FUCKING PHONE TO TEXT "IDK" TO SOMEONE ELSE TOO LONG? OR are you content to get the phone taken away and get written up? I weep for the future.
On a sidenote, I got the stink eye from someone the other day because I nearly walked into them while they were texting. Now, perhaps I could be faulted for not taking advantage of my situation (being the person not texting) and side-stepped the situation. My rebuttal to that is that YOU ARE IN PUBLIC! BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS! It's like falling into a hole because you were looking around at the scenery. The hole was there independently of your paying attention. If it's that important, then fucking CALL the person! I cannot stress this enough, the next generation of Americans is fucked.
Think about it: we're slowly moving towards a society in which face-to-face interaction takes up less of our time. I'm guilty of texting and of posting tirades and opinions online (so unless you've seen me recently, these tirades and whatnot are something you will never hear me talk about live), and of course I enjoy a quick text or e-mail or IM...it's just unfortunate that these methods of communication are overwhelmingly becoming more and more prevalent in our society. In Technology in the classroom, a grad course I took, our professor encouraged us to figure out a way to make Twitter work in the classroom. This took place before Twitter became "the bee's knees", and so I forced myself to come up with a good project idea. I don't agree with what I wrote, though it got rave reviews and probably would be effective in a classroom. HOWEVER, I don't see what the problem is with talking to one another and learning to communicate effectively in person without "lol"s and "wtf"s and "ttyl"s. Absurd.
ANYWAY... another reason I haven't been updating is travel. I've spent my weekends in May out of town. As a result, my presence in front of a computer has been limited to email checking and fantasy baseball updating. This leads me to tirade #2 on the day...
So I spent the other weekend celebrating the law school graduation of a good friend of mine, Chuckles Lawdog McNasty, (esq. to be filled in here shortly). I must say few things make me genuinely happy as when I meet friends of friends of mine who turn out to be good people. I experienced this in LA, Chicago, and the booming metropolis of Concord. The gentlemen of Action Jackson are always accomodating and up for fun and hijinks whenever they have out-of-town company. It deserves its own mention, and so here it is.
I mean, think about it: haven't you ever met the friend of a friend and they're kind of a jerk or just an ass in general? I can think of a few such instances, and while some of them can be brushed off as "oh, so and so just comes to parties" or "oh, she's only friends with _______ . She and I aren't that close", others have no excuse. Chuckles does not have such a problem at law school, or at least didn't while he was there.
I've managed to read four more books this month, and am currently still strugging to finish one that I started last month and am anticipating busting through that one so I can get to "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell, author of "Blink", as well as "Why We Suck" by Denis Leary. At least they are engaging.
Alright, let's get a few things squared away now that I'm running on all cylinders:
1) ALL cylinders is not true. I haven't run on all cylinders since 2007. This is probably the most passionate I'm going to be for right now.
2) I detest facebook applications. It's petty, yeah. I will say, though, that the applications for top movies and whatnot is ridiculous since THEY GIVE YOU FUCKING SPACE TO ENTER INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT YOUR FAVORITE THINGS ARE! Do we REALLY need another forum for that? I vote no.
3) Twitter bothers me. If you want a brief synopsis of random observations, call someone. If you are going to use such a site for something practical, good for you. I can't understand why people will want to get an instant update whenever Ashton Kutcher thinks up something contrived and unnecessarily-influential to put online. I haven't read any posts of his, but I would be willing to wager that a small amount of it is substantially thought-provoking.
4) We are a long way away from experiencing a substantial enough change in the economy.
Alright, time for lunch. Another post is on the menu for this afternoon.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
May 3- May, April summary, Charlotte
Brief post to update you all on what's been going on (travel and the like):
Batted slightly higher than .500 in the month of April. Successfully avoided additional salt. Also successfully finished 2 of the 5-6 books I had anticipated finishing in the month. ALSO finished another book last night, though I will make the final decision that the third book does not count (reading fail).
May's challenge is a big one, mostly because of how much I love baseball...no TV.
Now let me elaborate my mission for May...I will not watch TV at my home or anyone else's home. Places of business (bars) are a gray area, but I have decided to allow them ONLY on trivia nights. Since I host 3-4 nights a week and since each place that I do the triv thing (which does not include flashing my genitalia from behind a trenchcoat) has a NUMBER (I don't know why I added emphasis to that....it's like 4-8) of tvs, AND since staring at people chatting and drinking isn't as exciting as, say, the Bulls-Celtics series, I have decided to let myself slide for those 2 hours, 3-4 nights a week. You may call foul, but unless you plan on flashing me (breasts only, please...I see enough penises (mine) a day (and only mine) to get by) OR striking up intelligent conversation during the course of a night of trivia, deal with it.
Now, what about movies? I'm going to go ahead and say "ehh" to DVDs, but YES to movies in the theater. Why? Because I can. And a resounding NO to online videos...I could catch up on shows I've been missing (Lost, 24) by watching videos online...I've decided to not do that because it's a weak loophole. DVDs I have yet to make up my mind about (I really want to catch up on the Wire and 30 Rock...), but movies are legit because it's a way to stay updated on (trivial) current events (blockbuster season!).
As for what to do to better myself, I have decided to take up exercise each day. In fact, I'm going for a run very shortly. I hate running. This will be probably tougher than not masturbating (but not really)...so wish me luck.
Oh, and I'm in Charlotte, so there's some updating to be done VERY soon....maybe that'll be a second challenge: actually writing stuff....
Batted slightly higher than .500 in the month of April. Successfully avoided additional salt. Also successfully finished 2 of the 5-6 books I had anticipated finishing in the month. ALSO finished another book last night, though I will make the final decision that the third book does not count (reading fail).
May's challenge is a big one, mostly because of how much I love baseball...no TV.
Now let me elaborate my mission for May...I will not watch TV at my home or anyone else's home. Places of business (bars) are a gray area, but I have decided to allow them ONLY on trivia nights. Since I host 3-4 nights a week and since each place that I do the triv thing (which does not include flashing my genitalia from behind a trenchcoat) has a NUMBER (I don't know why I added emphasis to that....it's like 4-8) of tvs, AND since staring at people chatting and drinking isn't as exciting as, say, the Bulls-Celtics series, I have decided to let myself slide for those 2 hours, 3-4 nights a week. You may call foul, but unless you plan on flashing me (breasts only, please...I see enough penises (mine) a day (and only mine) to get by) OR striking up intelligent conversation during the course of a night of trivia, deal with it.
Now, what about movies? I'm going to go ahead and say "ehh" to DVDs, but YES to movies in the theater. Why? Because I can. And a resounding NO to online videos...I could catch up on shows I've been missing (Lost, 24) by watching videos online...I've decided to not do that because it's a weak loophole. DVDs I have yet to make up my mind about (I really want to catch up on the Wire and 30 Rock...), but movies are legit because it's a way to stay updated on (trivial) current events (blockbuster season!).
As for what to do to better myself, I have decided to take up exercise each day. In fact, I'm going for a run very shortly. I hate running. This will be probably tougher than not masturbating (but not really)...so wish me luck.
Oh, and I'm in Charlotte, so there's some updating to be done VERY soon....maybe that'll be a second challenge: actually writing stuff....
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