November 26- This year I'm thankful for...

I had asked my students here in Chile to think about the things that they are thankful for. Seems easy enough, until I tried to explain what being thankful means. I couldn't cite examples since they 1)are different for everyone, and 2) would surely bring a tear to my eye. Eventually, I figured the best I could do was to explain that being thankful for something means that you have that something and that you are happy that you have it. Basically, it's the opposite of a wish list you would send to Santa Claus. They seemed to grasp that concept better than anything else I tried.

In Thanksgiving fashion, my family goes around the table every year and talks about what they're thankful for.It leaves many misty, but is a true moment of exposure and humility that gets to the core of what I love about my family and the life I have in New York. It is-without a doubt- my favorite part of my favorite day of the year. And for the first time, I missed it. I've tried to distract myself from it in the hopes of avoiding a truly heavy wave of homesickness, and in the fuss over missing the holiday/ Skyping New York from my classroom with a dozen kiddies, I deflected the responsibility of making a concrete list of things and people for whom I am particularly thankful this year. So, I've given this a lot of thought this afternoon (in the absence of mindlessly eating pumpkin pie 'til it ouches me), and here's what I've come up with:

This year I'm thankful for...
-My family, without whom none of this would be possible. Since this opportunity abroad came about so suddenly, I cannot express how much I appreciate the love and support that came from every single member of my family, who double as best friends in many cases. Without such a strong support group, I question whether I could have done this. I love and miss you all tremendously.
- Erik's completion of his program at Dutchess and subsequent acceptance into UNH. I am prouder of you than I would let on, and am so happy that you're getting to experience school and getting to do what you love. Don't ever stop that.
- Both Lee and Stuart's new jobs. I can only imagine the stewing in the bathroom after a long fight, and so I'm happy that your new jobs have given you the opportunity to move into an apartment with doors. I'm so happy for you both.
- Liam Patrick Doyle, and his parents, Katie and Dave. What an adorable addition to the family; I look forward to getting to share in his first Christmas next month.
- My laptop. I know I made a fuss over it last year with not needing it and all. It has proven to be the best gift I've ever gotten. Thanks, Mom!
- The opportunity to see my family on my favorite day of the year. I saved a tear or two for after the call. Figured it was easier that way. Someone tell Nanny I was glad to talk with her, too, please...
- The gift of being open-minded enough to travel. I've learned a lot and I think it's going to make me a better person.
- The men and women serving in our armed forces. Their selfless sacrifice has been felt both overseas and within our borders.
- My students, who remind me everyday why I want to be a teacher...and who frequently remind me why I want to teach older students long-term. As crazy as the days can get, they're a constantly affectionate group who seem to know when to get it together and pick me up.
- Samantha, for- through the grace of God- getting me the gig, and for having a good enough TV package that I could watch the Yankees in October/November. When no one speaks your language, it's nice to watch people, who seem to move in universal fashion.
- All of the e-mails and messages that I've gotten from everyone since being here, and for the advances of technology, for as poorly as I take advantage of them.
- Pop, who's with me every day, and whose lessons are being re-learned and understood in a new way.
- My relative health. I can't imagine having to try to explain an illness to a doctor here.
- My iPod, because other than "Eres Tu" and "Feliz Navidad", I can't quite get the hang of songs in Spanish (thanks Tommy Boy)
- having gotten my Masters Degree. It was a struggle to personally get myself in the right frame of mind for intensive schoolwork, which made the end of the program all the sweeter.
and most of all, I'm thankful for my Mom, whose lessons of patience, determination, and fighting for what I want have been cornerstones of my entire year. I love you.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I hope to see you all soon. Stay well. Talk to each other.

November 24a- A follow-up...

Just to clarify at the end of my last post, it's not that reaching this conclusion of what I want to do with myself was mentally painful; it's just a process that takes some thought. A lot of thought. Part of what I have loved about being here is that it has afforded me the time and space and solitude to take a long, hard look at myself and my life and shake it up a bit. I have essentially isolated myself from the norm and used the time I have here to think about things fully; while from the outside, I see myself as overly self-critical, from the INSIDE, it's what I consider to be a necessary critique. Who am I and what do I stand for? These are questions- large questions, big ideas- that I'm in the process of figuring out here in Chile, where the only thing I need that I haven't left behind is myself.

This is, essentially, the first (or maybe second; I was a thinker in college) real self-spring-cleaning I've undergone, complete with rebuilding from the ground up. I'm in disarray, with the promise of understanding on the other end of whatever it is that I'm going through.

Upon further review, "disarray" is not the most accurate term to use to describe this. "In transition" is more accurate, as I still have something to stand on. The first bit of this is the following: "I may not be religious, but I am spiritual. I do not believe that I am a small cog in a wheel whose destiny has already been determined. I believe in signs, large and small, and I believe in taking advantage of opportunities as they come."

That's all for now. Da me un favor y hablen. Con sus padres, con sus esposos, con sus hijos, sus novios, sus amigos. Hablen (talk).

November 24- I don't know which way I'm going, I don't know which way I've come

...alright, so maybe that's only half true. The trip here was pretty chaotic in its suddenness and the way it came about ,but I certainly know what I was doing before I came here. And really, the changes I've undergone (and am undergoing, as this is a process that is more intricate than I'm aware of today) make the trip well worth it. This has been an incredible experience and I thought I'd share a bit of what I'm thinking about at this stage in the game. So without further delay, here are some thoughts on teaching in Chile....

1) I always find it some strange mix of amusing and sad when I hear people say "I don't know how you could do that" or "I could never do that". False. You (generic you; this is not addressed to anyone in particular) COULD do this. Physically, you could do it. It takes more mental toughness and drive to stay sane and to keep your wits about you than it does physical toughness. I think a lot of this is a distinction between wants and needs. What do we WANT to have and what do we NEED in life? Granted, this has been made EASIER with a laptop and an iPod, but could I do without it? Sure. I have been keeping a supplementary journal with things I'm not sharing online. I could just as easily leave it all in a book. The things you find out about what you want and what you need become clearly-defined in such an experience.

I find that for holidays, I don't ask for much. This is really because I don't NEED much. The truth of the matter is that you don't, either. Personally, that is. I understand those of you who own homes and have these "families" that you need to support may have a different perspective and that's fine. I'm just saying it's not THAT mystical for someone to be able to do this. It's a simple mix of prioritizing, a few simple luxuries, and the ganas. After that, it's all mental, which leads me to my next point...

2) Coming to the conclusion of point #1 takes mental guile. I was told in no uncertain terms that being abroad away from everything I would define as familiar would in many ways break me down. Sounds daunting, right? Right. BUT...in the midst of having everything I thought I knew blown up from the inside out, I'm beginning to see the formation of 'new': new perceptions of the world, of love, of life, of restraints (newsflash: aside from those pesky taxes, they're mostly in your head), of people, and of myself. And it's great. far too often we as a people are set up for a lifetime of work doing things that we don't necessarily want to be doing for the sake of these tangible, quantifiable things. And again, I'm not saying it's a bad thing; on the contrary, I think it IS necessary to work, if only to provide a roof over your head and survival, and to gain an appreciation for those things that you actually LIKE doing in comparison to your job (We do what we have to do so we can do what we want to do).
This trip, if nothing else, has reinforced my belief that I'm meant to do work that does not become stagnant, and if education is where I can do that, then let's go! Anyway, more to come. For now, teaching duties are getting in the way of my free-flowing head.

November 23- Where we're going, we don't need roads

It's been a big three weeks. I'm officially one month from my return flight to New York, which means I am more than halfway through this leg of the journey. I've had a number of things take place, so before I get to the meat of this post, let me review them in brief (to the best of my ability):

1) Started reading again. And stopped. And trying to get back into it- 

The first couple of weeks into this trip, I pored through more than half of the books that I had brought with me to Chile, and so I decided that I needed to cut that noise out if I was going to have anything at all to do on the flight back home. It was then that I decided to milk the AIS library for some of its resources. Over the course of a week, I plowed through 5 books (albeit short, 120-page books). There has always been a tremendous feeling of accomplishment that comes with wrapping up a good book, and so here are the selections:

A) The Cay by Theodore Taylor- I vaguely remember reading this book at some point in my schooling, but couldn't figure out what the story behind it was, so that was my first goal. Pretty good story.

B) Night by Elie Wiesel- A bit cliche, but probably the most powerful book I've read in a long time, if not ever. I WILL say that this sparked a debate between myself and a friend of mine over when the Holocaust is an acceptable subject of study. My opinion is this: there's no convenient time to study the Holocaust, though its importance as an atrocity against humanity (and well within 3 generations) should be something that students are made aware of early. I remember reading this book in 8th grade, and frankly, I think that's too young for an intensive study of the subject. 8th grade was more or less about pining for 'women' (14 year-old girls, as I hope everyone learns, are not women...just like 14 year-old boys are called 'boys' for a reason). While the trend continues in high school, there's a sense of awareness of the world around us (thank you, Global Studies) that makes this subject appropriate for an older crowd.

C) The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway- One of the more disappointing books I've read. I get and appreciate the sparse language and connection with nature and the world around us, Ernie, but this was just a lackluster story, in my opinion.

D) Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck- Much more enjoyable than even in high school, when it was one of the better books I read. I think the thing about this book is that Lenny really is a dumb kids that you can't help but like.

E) Animal Farm by George Orwell- I tore through Animal Farm well aware of the parallels to communist Russia, and found the concept fascinating in its finish, which roused the sort of personal fire that I cherish in a book. It's among the greats, as far as my own personal opinion is concerned.

I had a random person come through my roommate's window last weekend. I got a knock at the door and answered it where there was this man who said something to the effect of "I need to check your windows". I assumed it was the window-washers asking us to close the windows, but something that he said wasn't just a simple request, which really the people could have made from outside. So I let him in to Kelly's room, where he proceeded to help another man who was on a pulley support system into the apartment through the window! Now, having left the man to his devices to finish getting dressed, I was shocked to see the man had duplicated in no time! The language barrier didn't breakdown the conversation entirely, as I managed to decipher bits and pieces enough to give the men what they needed to clean up, and let them on their merry way. A strange success story.

Lastly, and this is leading to the meat of the post (which, unfortunately, will have to wait until later, as my break's just about over)...I got homesick. This was bound to happen and so when it did, I was ready for it...but it was the manner in which I got homesick that struck me as odd and strangely, more powerful in its delivery.

Well, I suppose that's as good a place as any to leave this at a cliffhanger. Expect another post later today (another break, and then grading after school (woof)). Talk to each other.

November 3- Everything you ever wanted to know about Chile, but didn't get around to asking.

I will start by saying that I was informed that some of the language used in my last post was 'coarse', which is another way of saying "tone down the potty-type". I have no excuse for using adult language other than that I'm an adult. However, for the sensitive types, please replace "slutty" with "inappropriately-clad" (i.e. "inappropriately-clad nurse"), "masturbate" with "lock your bedroom door" (i.e. "go home and lock your bedroom door"...because trying to explain it otherwise is tricky), "shit" with "heck", "piss-poor" with "peepee-poor", and "fucking" with "stinking"...

In hindsight, maybe I should work on giving up swearing for a month...that's a lot for a few short paragraphs on my distaste for Halloween. Look, I just don't like it. If I have kids, I'm sure it'll change my perspective. However, today I am too old to love it. And as for the women...I just don't understand what's so wrong about having a good time in a nice neutral-colored sweater, or a modest burlap frock; there's something that stimulates the pulse about a gal dressed as a 1930s Hooverville resident. 

                        The original Iron Maiden is a perfectly acceptable costume, and you won't be labeled a hussy, either.

With all of that said, for those of you just joining us, please feel free to put a personal filter if you decide to read past posts.

Okay, so today I thought I would bestow some knowledge upon you straight from Chile. Here are some things I have learned about Chile in my short time here:

1) Chile is the longest country (north to south) in the world. Longer than Russia. Longer than Canada, even with all of those glaciers they have up north.

2) Bernardo O'Higgins is a national hero here. His name is everywhere. He's like the Jorge Washington of Chile. I'm teaching first grade, and we spent an entire social studies lesson talking about him, which was awkward because my kids knew more about him than I did (hooray history major!). I will be promoting more than one reference to him in U.S. History books. Oh, and he's not a leprechaun. The name is of Irish descent, making him my favorite 19th century Chilean. Basically, he helped free Chile from Spanish rule. Next year marks the bicentennial of Chile's independence, so perhaps we'll see some inappropriately-dressed O'Higginses for Halloween next year.

3) Another national hero here is Arturo Pratt. Pratt died in a naval battle, bravely leaping from his sinking ship to the ship of his enemies, where he fought heroically to the death. Think of him as the Davy Crockett of Chile...you know, if the Alamo were an island.

4) No word on whether there's a Benedict Arnold version in Chile...though from what I gather, there hasn't been the sort of acknowledgement of anti-Chilean sentiment here that would help me learn of such a character. Pinochet is also not a great name to give your kids (first name: Augusto)...think of it as  the equivalent to Obama's middle name being Hussein...yeah it's coincidence, but you'll still find the people crying foul at child naming.

5) If I am blessed enough to have kids, I will not have 13 of them.

6) Halloween really isn't even a big deal here. The costumes and trick-or-treating and all that jazz is adopted from an Americanized culture, so it's only the fairly well-off kids who do that sort of thing. Chile's a fairly Catholic country, and God (who's definitely, without question, no doubt about it, male here) frowns upon inappropriately-dressed brujas (witches).

7) Thanksgiving here is called "Thursday". No turkey bowl, no sweatpants with gravy stains. The good news? Siesta will be totally justified.

                             Turkeys relax: it's only Thursday. This carving knife is just a prop...

8) A total of two Chileans that I've met know about the Yankees. About five dozen have Yankees hats. It's like Jay-Z said: "I'm not a businessman...I'm a business, man".

Speaking of the Yankees, thanks to Samantha's tv package, she gets ESPN+, which airs the Yankees WORLD SERIES games in Spanish. This works out well, as I don't have to decide which combination out of Buck/McCarver, Sterling/Waldman, and Miller/Morgan I like least. Home run calls are also a LOT like soccer goal calls....VERY animated and drawn out, kind of like every mound meeting between Posada and Sabathia. That said, I could really go for a home run call for someone NOT named Chase Utley.

Anyway, I'm trying to stay in the flow of actually giving something up (hence the title of the blog) this month, and so this month it's cell phones. Now, I know I don't have a cell phone here, but so what? Still a challenge, and I will still be updating you all on how that works (hint: it's SO liberating). 

As for something I'm picking up, it's an ongoing challenge to have at least one conversation in Spanish each day. I think that's doable, and barring any days being confined to my bed, this will be easily met.

Alright that's all for now. Remember, talk to each other...even if it's on a cell phone.