I will start by saying that I was informed that some of the language used in my last post was 'coarse', which is another way of saying "tone down the potty-type". I have no excuse for using adult language other than that I'm an adult. However, for the sensitive types, please replace "slutty" with "inappropriately-clad" (i.e. "inappropriately-clad nurse"), "masturbate" with "lock your bedroom door" (i.e. "go home and lock your bedroom door"...because trying to explain it otherwise is tricky), "shit" with "heck", "piss-poor" with "peepee-poor", and "fucking" with "stinking"...
In hindsight, maybe I should work on giving up swearing for a month...that's a lot for a few short paragraphs on my distaste for Halloween. Look, I just don't like it. If I have kids, I'm sure it'll change my perspective. However, today I am too old to love it. And as for the women...I just don't understand what's so wrong about having a good time in a nice neutral-colored sweater, or a modest burlap frock; there's something that stimulates the pulse about a gal dressed as a 1930s Hooverville resident.
The original Iron Maiden is a perfectly acceptable costume, and you won't be labeled a hussy, either.
With all of that said, for those of you just joining us, please feel free to put a personal filter if you decide to read past posts.
Okay, so today I thought I would bestow some knowledge upon you straight from Chile. Here are some things I have learned about Chile in my short time here:
1) Chile is the longest country (north to south) in the world. Longer than Russia. Longer than Canada, even with all of those glaciers they have up north.
2) Bernardo O'Higgins is a national hero here. His name is everywhere. He's like the Jorge Washington of Chile. I'm teaching first grade, and we spent an entire social studies lesson talking about him, which was awkward because my kids knew more about him than I did (hooray history major!). I will be promoting more than one reference to him in U.S. History books. Oh, and he's not a leprechaun. The name is of Irish descent, making him my favorite 19th century Chilean. Basically, he helped free Chile from Spanish rule. Next year marks the bicentennial of Chile's independence, so perhaps we'll see some inappropriately-dressed O'Higginses for Halloween next year.
3) Another national hero here is Arturo Pratt. Pratt died in a naval battle, bravely leaping from his sinking ship to the ship of his enemies, where he fought heroically to the death. Think of him as the Davy Crockett of Chile...you know, if the Alamo were an island.
4) No word on whether there's a Benedict Arnold version in Chile...though from what I gather, there hasn't been the sort of acknowledgement of anti-Chilean sentiment here that would help me learn of such a character. Pinochet is also not a great name to give your kids (first name: Augusto)...think of it as the equivalent to Obama's middle name being Hussein...yeah it's coincidence, but you'll still find the people crying foul at child naming.
5) If I am blessed enough to have kids, I will not have 13 of them.
6) Halloween really isn't even a big deal here. The costumes and trick-or-treating and all that jazz is adopted from an Americanized culture, so it's only the fairly well-off kids who do that sort of thing. Chile's a fairly Catholic country, and God (who's definitely, without question, no doubt about it, male here) frowns upon inappropriately-dressed brujas (witches).
7) Thanksgiving here is called "Thursday". No turkey bowl, no sweatpants with gravy stains. The good news? Siesta will be totally justified.
Turkeys relax: it's only Thursday. This carving knife is just a prop...
8) A total of two Chileans that I've met know about the Yankees. About five dozen have Yankees hats. It's like Jay-Z said: "I'm not a businessman...I'm a business, man".
Speaking of the Yankees, thanks to Samantha's tv package, she gets ESPN+, which airs the Yankees WORLD SERIES games in Spanish. This works out well, as I don't have to decide which combination out of Buck/McCarver, Sterling/Waldman, and Miller/Morgan I like least. Home run calls are also a LOT like soccer goal calls....VERY animated and drawn out, kind of like every mound meeting between Posada and Sabathia. That said, I could really go for a home run call for someone NOT named Chase Utley.
Anyway, I'm trying to stay in the flow of actually giving something up (hence the title of the blog) this month, and so this month it's cell phones. Now, I know I don't have a cell phone here, but so what? Still a challenge, and I will still be updating you all on how that works (hint: it's SO liberating).
As for something I'm picking up, it's an ongoing challenge to have at least one conversation in Spanish each day. I think that's doable, and barring any days being confined to my bed, this will be easily met.
Alright that's all for now. Remember, talk to each other...even if it's on a cell phone.
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