Just to clarify at the end of my last post, it's not that reaching this conclusion of what I want to do with myself was mentally painful; it's just a process that takes some thought. A lot of thought. Part of what I have loved about being here is that it has afforded me the time and space and solitude to take a long, hard look at myself and my life and shake it up a bit. I have essentially isolated myself from the norm and used the time I have here to think about things fully; while from the outside, I see myself as overly self-critical, from the INSIDE, it's what I consider to be a necessary critique. Who am I and what do I stand for? These are questions- large questions, big ideas- that I'm in the process of figuring out here in Chile, where the only thing I need that I haven't left behind is myself.
This is, essentially, the first (or maybe second; I was a thinker in college) real self-spring-cleaning I've undergone, complete with rebuilding from the ground up. I'm in disarray, with the promise of understanding on the other end of whatever it is that I'm going through.
Upon further review, "disarray" is not the most accurate term to use to describe this. "In transition" is more accurate, as I still have something to stand on. The first bit of this is the following: "I may not be religious, but I am spiritual. I do not believe that I am a small cog in a wheel whose destiny has already been determined. I believe in signs, large and small, and I believe in taking advantage of opportunities as they come."
That's all for now. Da me un favor y hablen. Con sus padres, con sus esposos, con sus hijos, sus novios, sus amigos. Hablen (talk).
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