February 13th- Hodgepodge

In the spirit of this bastardized holiday (Valentine's Day), I politely suggest to all of you who will be exchanging bodily fluids in the heat of passion to wrap it up. Seriously, if you're going to get impregnated (or impregnate), do it some other time. Making a baby on Valentine's Day is a cliche. There. I've said my part (yes, I'm sure that this is fact. I will not look it up).

The Man in Black and I wish you and yours a lustful VD (Day)

In the meantime, there are pressing things to get to in the world (mostly just bitching and moaning; it IS still February after all)....so here goes:


Let's bring back "scrub". People seem to get offended when I say "scumbag", even though I'm not swearing AND even though it doesn't just apply to a guy (read: girl, aka "pigeon") who can't get no love from me (or one who does this). I used it today in context and it was quite amusing, so I'm asking for your cooperation in bringing back this dis (young whippersnappers and their dissing, like it's 1996 all over again).

"Scrub". Note the work goggles.

Alright, so it's confession time: I blew it....actually, poor choice of words. I broke my February fast. I am surprisingly disappointed with myself. I have not yet figured out whether I will try again for a 28-day lack of masturbating or whether I will try something else (that said, WOW...exceptionally gratifying). I guess it really just got to me. As I stated at the beginning of the month, what has been lovingly referred to as any number of asinine activities ("punching the clown" always makes me laugh...I should give my crotch a rainbow afro) serves so very many purposes (among them, boredom relief and stress management). I have considered the health risks associated with NOT doing it (increased irritability), and the health risks with doing it (one-way ticket to Hell(?). Also, hairy palms). I think I'll take the hair, thank you very much.

So to complete the post, I thought I'd finally post my response to the new U2 single, "Get On Your Boots":

It's dirty. A sexy dirty. I am a big fan of the punk-funk intro, with the Edge's guitar riff and cymbol-happy Larry going to town. The verses have a percussion part that reminds me of Miami, and carries an essence of a white button-down and a cigarette, full of swagger and machismo.

Not even Bono is as big a chest hair offender, chico.

"You don't know/ and you don't get it, do you?" and the chorus/bridge into the second verse really sounds like 60's surf rock, like a west coast sound which I am currently enamored with (which also makes me want to drink a gin and tonic). Bono really seems to soar with his voice, though I'm not sure how ecstatic I am with the lyrics (probably because I lack sexy boots, I just possess a ferocious dumper). His voice in the verses bounces in that slinky manner not unlike the groovy bass line of "Love and Peace or Else" on How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. Adam Clayton's bass-playing, while not as intricate or sophisticated as others out there, really is quite subtly alluring (trying hard to refrain from overusing "sexy"). All in all, I want to have sex to this song, and I can't think of a better endorsement for it. Also enjoying the video.

Well, I suppose that's enough for one night. Now, on to the show!