June5- Cellular Etiquette

Following up on my near-run-in with a random texter, I've decided to make a list of the ten LEAST appropriate places to use your cell phone...

1) Funeral- Really. Weddings count the same amount. If these fairly important moments of peoples' lives aren't important enough for you to devote your attention, you should probably switch places with the person in the coffin.


2) Church- Unreal, the texting that goes on during church. If you can't devote that one hour or so a week to being without your cell phone, God probably doesn't love you anyway. Promoting this sort of behavior doesn't teach anything but that your own personal thoughts are above and beyond the level of importance of what the preacher is teaching you about a subject that he/she knows MUCH more about than you....


3) In bed- Using your phone to order a partner is also frowned upon, though isn't totally appalling.


4) At dinner- Unless you're eating alone, in which case it's slightly less-rude (keep in mind if you are eating while talking on the phone)...otherwise, enjoy the company of whomever you are with, rather than sending a message that your mind is elsewhere...


5) On the checkout line at a store- Listen, we've all had rude cashiers...however, perhaps a part of that is being so unappreciated that they get to such a point of rudeness after being entirely ignored during a transaction. I find it to be extremely distasteful. What will saying "can I call you back in two minutes" do to really slow you down?


6) At the movies- I can't stress this enough: TURN OFF YOUR PHONE!! No one wants to hear your fingers pressing buttons throughout a movie, nor does anyone want to hear muffled whispers (and that's if you're polite about it) while they're trying to enjoy a movie that they have likely had to pay around ten bucks for. Texting doesn't make it okay, since 1) button pressing still makes noise, and 2) the light illuminates your face and the area around you. Can you REALLY go without being reached by your fellow dickhead friends for two hours? Are you REALLY incapable of waiting until after the movie to give a shallow review?


7) In the library- This one bothers me to no end, since the library's supposed to represent the last refuge of the student who gives a shit.

8) With the radio on- Or any music playing. Choose one or the other and stick with it. That shit can get AWFULLY annoying REAL fast.

9) During a meeting- Again, just a matter of getting priorities straight. If what you're in the meeting for can't hold your attention and engage you to the point that you're well-invested in teh subject matter, then it's not out of line to question whether or not you should be in the meeting at all. Pregnancies are, of course, an exception. Otherwise, a silencer is the nice thing to do.

10) While cooking- One, trying to hold a phone to your ear with your shoulder looks and feels ridiculous and uncomfortable. Two, at some point, you will have to touch the phone with your food-covered hands...and let's say it's raw chicken that you were handling. Your phone has just gotten exponentially nastier. Gross. Put down the phone.


Thank you...now, if you don't mind, I've got to make a call.



(Note: There was about a two and a half hour lull in this because I took a call from Evita from overseas...and that, in hindsight, went much better than this blog post.)